Best thing said to you on a bike

hippy Click me! Click me!

That was not entirely predictable.

hahaha That reminds me.. saw the best thing this morning...

Taxi driver does a quick u-turn to pick up passenger on other side of the road. Unusually, it wasn't right in front of me, but 100m down the road.
It WAS, however, right in front of a fscking huge truck that had to brake to avoid Twatxi cab. By the time I get to them, the Driver of truck is out of his cabin and having words with the taxicuntdriver.
Classic reversal of roles! hahaha hope you got a smackin' cabbie fsckshaft.

Disclaimer: They're not all bad. One told me my light was off the night before. Sure he was being patronising about it but better than not knowing at all.

Best thing ever said to me on my bike? "You look great" by the very sexy french girl who worked in our cafeteria / bar. She was having a fag out the back as I was wheeling my bike to the garage, wearing fixed shorts and a cycling cap - a look most girls don't really 'get'. I was dumbstruck and mumbled something incoherent, doing a good impression of a pubescent 14 year old. She went back to france to study a few weeks later - I never got to come back at her with a decent line :o(

I was messing about on my bike with a mate the other night and a massive group of chavs cycled past on bmx and shouted "you gay bike".

This made me laugh a lot, reminds me of Devvo vids.

http://www.fat-pie.com/chavs.htm

Cylced across a junction the other day, nowhere near being in front of a car. He starts hooting at me and at the next set of lights pulled over into the cycle lane to try and cut me off. It was sheddy Renault clio with about 5 people in it. As he stopped, one of the rear seat passengers starts growling, slightly oddly "I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you"

I tried to stay away after that, but I think with 5 people in a Clio I should have been able to cycle faster than their car...

JimboJones whenever I see foxtons C*nts in their C*nt minis I always start shouting "c*nt" at the top of my voice. If someone could create a "foxtons C*nt" sticker for their minis i would love it.

Here you go Jimbo, feel free to distribute as you see fit

bikenut when taking my bike in through the reception at work some fat lardy arsed manager thinking he was being amusing saying ' get off and milk it' , Ha fcking ha! he has to get the lift up to the 1st floor cause he's too lazy to walk, too much fcking red wine and resturant food.
you should have stopped raised an eyebrow and said "...you want me to get off my bike ..and have a wank in front of you??"

My all time favourite was actually during a Critical Mass. Some numpty in a 4x4 who was being held up but the Mass. i can understand his (slight) irritation, but what fucked up mental process made him open his window and shout:

"Why don't you all move to China?"

Totally insane.

MrSmith
white van pulls up at the lights, window winds down.I now expect some sarcastic remark like 'your wheels are going round'.
instead i get "kinell mate 32mph!"

I had the same thing on the way home to Brixton once. Van starts passing me and then stays level. After a few seconds the window comes down and just as i'm expecting abuse or a projectile to come my way the passenger leans out and shouts "almost 30, fucking nice one maaate" and they drive off. That was class.

About a week ago I was trackstanding at a light in Brixton and as it went green an old Jamaican dude who'd been watching shouted "10 points". That was cool too.

fc9k I got called a "show off" as I skid-stopped at some lights, by a guy doing the best wannabe fixed-gear impression possible without actually sorting out his fucking drivetrain: Old blue raleigh, polished drops with bmx lever and no back brake. rusty 10spd drivetrain still in full effect. No-skid inferiority complex perhaps?

By the way this was in cambridge, give us a shout if you're a lurker on here waiting to take the plunge properly ;)

There is an old peugeot locked up on Eversholt street with flat bars like that. Don't quite understand it myself but I am sure the person riding it loves it.

saw another one today on upper street, nice old french frame I think. No Tape. Front brake only. If you're gonna convert, convert!

I just had one today, cycling down Park Lane about to go right (in the right lane), a bloke (looks like borat) leans out the window of his van and shouts "this is right that is left" (in borats voice).

I give him the finger as he was being a nob. The guys then slams on his brakes and trys to pull in front of me. A load of 4X4 them start hooting him as he messing up the traffic flow, by which stage I had passed him, and he revs up and zooms past me again, then tries to spit on me but instead it blows back into his face. Such rage, amazing.

He should be made to wear a mankini, 6 sizes too small for him, for a week.

only a cunt would do that..

got called a 'ponce on a bike today' nr earlham st by a cabbie.

I did call him a cunt who should indicate though.

hippy He should be made to wear a mankini, 6 sizes too small for him, for a week.
I had assumed he had one on under his clothes which was why he was such an angry bastard.

At a set of traffic lights left lane going straight on, right lane turning right into Surrey Quays shopping centre. I shift lanes to the right and stop behind stationary car in front and am sitting patiently in the middle of lane with lights at red.

I hear a car pull up behind me and then someone gets on their horn. I ignore the first two or three blasts but then turn around and see its the bird in the car behind me frothing at the mouth and slamming her hand on the horn pointing at me (lights are still red). I turn around and ride back to her window to see whats up which she rolls down shouting
"Get out of the way, get out the fucking way"
Me "What?"
She "Why don't you read the Road Traffic Act!!"
Me "Prefer the Highway Code but whats your point?"
She "You should get out of my way!"
Me "Okayyy"

Returned to my place in front of her in queue of traffic and as lights turned green performed slowest laziest right turn whilst madam gave herself an aneurysm trying to get past my zig-zagging fat arse.

My first properly fucking mental driver incident.

lucky got called a 'ponce on a bike today' nr earlham st by a cabbie.

I did call him a cunt who should indicate though.

to be fair though andy...?

adoubletap At a set of traffic lights left lane going straight on, right lane turning right into Surrey Quays shopping centre. I shift lanes to the right and stop behind stationary car in front and am sitting patiently in the middle of lane with lights at red.

I hear a car pull up behind me and then someone gets on their horn. I ignore the first two or three blasts but then turn around and see its the bird in the car behind me frothing at the mouth and slamming her hand on the horn pointing at me (lights are still red). I turn around and ride back to her window to see whats up which she rolls down shouting
"Get out of the way, get out the fucking way"
Me "What?"
She "Why don't you read the Road Traffic Act!!"
Me "Prefer the Highway Code but whats your point?"
She "You should get out of my way!"
Me "Okayyy"

Returned to my place in front of her in queue of traffic and as lights turned green performed slowest laziest right turn whilst madam gave herself an aneurysm trying to get past my zig-zagging fat arse.

My first properly fucking mental driver incident.

She probably had the painters in....

I will get my coat.

I see I'm not the only one who's had this inexplicable phrase shouted at them: 'aaaa, you're wheels are going round mate' - from a load of kids rolling 'cigarettes' on the steps outside a house. Same day I had some yokel in the passenger seat of a van shout 'roiftrsandrefferesd!' I turned and looked and he looked like one of those stereotyped rural idiots with an stupid grin on his drunken face.

Yesterday in Deptford had some bizarre pissed up old fella in the middle of the day stop a bunch of us and ask if we had any small track frames for sale, was a little bizarre to say the least...

bit early in the day for sano to be drinking…

hehe
Good work, big papa.

adoubletap

. . . . .

Returned to my place in front of her in queue of traffic and as lights turned green performed slowest laziest right turn whilst madam gave herself an aneurysm trying to get past my zig-zagging fat arse.

. . . . .

Excellent stuff ! :)

This is also my chosen weapon - the slow crawl - if a driver cuts me up or otherwise endangers me I will attempt to catch up (not difficult in London) and then cycle at a fairly leisurely pace in front of him/her until they have hit the horn a few times.

Unusually satisfying :) breaks no laws (unlike 'U' locking the windscreen or even threatening behavior might and it is just about the worst thing you could do to a driver who is in such a hurry that they would risk your safety to gain (literally) 5-10 seconds.

RickyMundo [quote]JimboJones whenever I see foxtons C*nts in their C*nt minis I always start shouting "c*nt" at the top of my voice. If someone could create a "foxtons C*nt" sticker for their minis i would love it.

Here you go Jimbo, feel free to distribute as you see fit

[/quote]

:)