Best thing said to you on a bike

Whilst i jumped a red this morning completely harmlessly (no peds anywhere and a straight road) a man in a white Van in traffic on the opposite side leaned out the window and shouted "you're going to get r*ped you c*nt"

whats the best thing you guys have heard whilst on a bike?

similar to yours.....
riding up a one way(the wrong way) a white van drove passed me and the guy shouted "its a one way you cunt!!"
it got quite upset :(

going down the uxbridge road last night, an old lady was crossing , plenty of room for me (a whole lane), as i came to pass her she shouted out "GET SOME FUCKIN" LIGHTS" i nearly came off pissing myself laughing........i actually do have lights by the way.

JimboJones Whilst i jumped a red this morning completely harmlessly (no peds anywhere and a straight road) a man in a white Van in traffic on the opposite side leaned out the window and shouted "you're going to get r*ped you c*nt"

whats the best thing you guys have heard whilst on a bike?

hehe, brilliant....so uncalled for...

"You're not going to get a girlfriend wearing that, you c*nt"

(I was wearing a retro 'Tom Simpson' jersey bought for me by my wife)

"They don't let you stop for beers in the Tour de France y'know."

As I skimmed through a crowd of peds on a crossing (their red, my green!):

"You're a streetwalker!"

"Your wheels are going round"

Still don't know what it meant???

Oh and on the subject, the class of heckling on the dunwich dynamo was notably more civilised in suffolk then in essex... (it went from "oi! you cunt" to "where are you chaps going at this time of night?")

All I ever hear is "GAWGSKJFHLSKHKHLHLKGLHHHHHHALSDHHHUASBIUSDFSSSSSS"

Don't these wankers know that passing at 50mph isn't conducive to regaling me with how supple my pedaling action is?

Platini "They don't let you stop for beers in the Tour de France y'know."

yesterday a guy said " good luck, wan*er"
so i stopped and chatted and we sorted out our differneces - he wasn't that bad but just quite stupid, his theory was he wasn't in the wrong for getting out of a taxi right in front of me, as he didn't see me, main problem was that he worked in the city and hated cyclists.

"Stop you CUNTS!" (was out drinking with Ma3k and we thought we could make like hoy and out run some cops) :/

hael Ma3k and I spent the night at hammersmith station a while ago, we ran a deserted red light then saw the blue lights come on, thought ah fook, decided we werent stopping proceded to sprint down what we thought was a side street.. ended up at a dead end! so turned to welcome the approaching police car then I dunno why we did but we both took off again past the old bill ...after about 10 min of the slowest car chase you would ever see with a copper hanging out the window shouting "stop you CUNTS!" we got cut off by another cop car and van.. I remeber being hauled to the ground still clipped in getting cuffed and a big Kojack looking copper saying to me "Could you not hear the siren?? or see the lights!!" I replied "oh they were for me?" we got bundled down the station (after they stopped at the garage to buy something) While searching my bag they were asking how much we had to drink I replied "2 beers each" he then proceded to pull out 4 of the clear plastic 6 pack holders and raised an eyebrow, in the back ground I could see Ma3k getting shoved forward in to the holding cells asking "why the fuck [the other copper] is he putting rubber gloves on?".
They let me go after about 5 hours, but kept Ma3k in cause he gave them every address he had previously live at in the last 10 years. started to cycle home and after about 5 min I heard a car come up behind me and police sirens come on.. thought oh for fuck sake, but ill stop this time turned round and it was the same fuckers they just kept driving pissing them selfs laughing ...lol bastards, id have done the same.

believe it or not nothing came of it, just locked us up and let us go. Tho I think ill just stop next time..

http://www.londonfgss.com/discussion/1213/

some homie in a car behind me said "move your shit" when I was waiting to turn right into a fucking busy road (the road in question is a cunt, traffic doing 60mph both ways and only a chance to get out when it's so busy they have to slow down.

I just turned round and looked at him, then pulled out into the traffic hoping he'd follow.

but the best thing ever said was "how the hell did you get up there on a singlespeed!?" at RP once.

You black punk.

Seriously....

After nearly being wiped out one-way street, I said to a Mini-driving-Real Estate agent, "why are you lot such cnnt's?", to which he replied, "why are you so fat?". I got to give the immortal "Because every time I root your mum, she gives me a biscuit".

Not highly original, I know, but fnck, I've genuinely wanted to say that to someone for ages. The forty-summat dude walking his dog laughed when the vagina-decliner in the Mini threw his Starbucks cup at me.

BRM After nearly being wiped out one-way street, I said to a Mini-driving-Real Estate agent, "why are you lot such cnnt's?", to which he replied, "why are you so fat?". I got to give the immortal "Because every time I root your mum, she gives me a biscuit".

more like a fucking roast :P

You prick.

:)

whenever I see foxtons C*nts in their C*nt minis I always start shouting "c*nt" at the top of my voice. If someone could create a "foxtons C*nt" sticker for their minis i would love it.

"Get a job you C*nt!"

On a saturday. In the City. at 7:30am.

'Get out of the road, you prick' to which I replied 'get out of your car and we'll discuss it, you cunt', but he wouldn't...

I also get a lot of 'WRRGGGHHGHJHBALLOFFFKAAAGHHSGG!' from gimps in spazzy little cars who want to look everywhere except at you when you stop next to them at the next set of lights, tap on the window and say 'sorry, I didn't catch that'

But I make a point of saying thanks or nodding my head when people see you and stop, or don't come onto the roundabout you're going round, or who make a mistake and apologise. I know they're in the wrong, but I think we'll get more people thinking about bikes if you're cool with them rather than telling them what a prick they are.

Unless, of course they give you shit, in which case it's time to come out all guns blazing.

While using a Velib bike in paris a guy almost doored me getting out of a taxi.

I shouted, "Open your eyes mate" (Not thinking about the language barrier)

He replied in a perfect Antoine De Caunes accent...."But it is one way?!"

I went red and sped off.

sano:

im sure you've had worse than that !

; )

Only when trying to follow you during the Italian Job race

At all other times, I'm the fucking essence of cycling grace, OK?

:p

I wipe them from my data banks and keep smiling myself, its better for my heart rate if I don't get down to their lowly level.
My philosophy FWIW, is ignore the wankers and profusely thank wave and smile to ANYONE who shows even the tiniest bit of awareness or consideration of my needs as a cyclist. It's like a karmic bank account, I only deposit, never withdraw (ooh)

stopped at the ped crossing lights waiting for 'em to change, from behind I heard "go go go go go go go go go" followed by a full-suss MTB rider fully done up in all the gear, as he passed he said what sounded very much like "prick" and then jumped the light narrowly missing the people on the crossing.

I duly waited for the light to change, caught up with him, thought about having a go and decided not to cause myself the stress of it, and simply turned and smiled at him and left him for dust.

Prick.