Bike Storage: Wall mounts, stands, lock-ups, sheds, etc.

Mr Bungle the thesp who doesn't want any tiny tire marks on the walls
on the way up the stairs. Pretty hard to avoid as there's barely enough room to get round the bannisters.

Shared stairs right? Tell him the marks are on less than half the walls so he'll just have to suck it up.

"I can't live like this - in this filth!"

Maybe you could suggest that he finds a new place to live if it's that bad. Or start shitting on the doorstep to show him what real filth is.