• Best:

    EtxeOndo shorts - the most comfortable, most arse-massaging shorts I've ever owned. Brought every pair the shop had

    Montane Featherlite Velo jacket - shrugs off showers, keeps me warm on cold or windy mornings, and yet packs down to a tiny size and weighs nothing

    Brooks Team Pro Ti - once I'd got it soaking wet and ridden for 50 miles it moulded to me, and now it's the most comfortable thing in the world. Spend some time getting the height, setback and angle correct

    My dark blue Merckx MX Leader. Really stupendously lovely, even better than the Corsa Extra I used to have

    Merino - keeps me warm, dry and smelling nice

    Worst:

    A rather well-known eBay seller and writer who sold me what seemed like a very reasonably-priced road bike, on which every single part was broken, worn out or otherwise rotten

    Cannodale Le Carbon shorts. Really horribly uncomfortable, chafed my bits no end

    Continental inner tubes - both of them punctured within 50 miles, replaced them with my old Decathlon £1 jobbies and they seem fine

    A big mail-order firm taking my order, sending half of it, then e-mailing a week later to say the rest of it was never coming because they didn't have it in stock and couldn't get it

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