I hate

So how did it go?

I don't want to talk about it

You had a brilliant time and don't want to admit that you have a new found love for adult birthday parties?

I am disappoint.

Particularly ones that involve fancy dress.

Will there be cake?

For the people who are still alive.

No, no, no, no, no.

It had all the classic ingredients, cricket club hall, shit buffet and extra helpings if Abba. Oh, and a gushing speech about how amazing his wife is by my brother in law.

It really did not disappoint.

Were the balloons replaced or did they just sit deflated on the floor?

50 next year; have already warned people that a surprise party will be mostly a surprise as I may not be anywhere they expect me to be and they'll have to have it without me.

Oooooft. Yeah, not my cup of tea either.

My partner does love baking me a birthday cake that's at least 5 times bigger than it needs to be so probably!

They were replaced, you can't ruin a 40 yr old's birthday with no balloons can you?

And by the way, I did not get them.

I have just got back from a long day of volunteering and my apparently quite a few people appear to have had food poisoning from last night. Luckily I didn't go near the buffet.

.

I feel like we need a proper birthday party thread, I’m sure much hilarity will ensue whether it is kids birthday parties or adult birthday parties.

My neighbours BBQ that smells like they are cooking on 100% firelighters

I had no idea we lived next door to the same people. Their food must taste like paraffin.

They’ve long since destroyed their olfactory nerves. The chemically burn is what they now perceive as flavour.

I hate when people use "none" when they mean "non". If something doesn't work it's non-working not none-working.

You should tell them about propane....

Your partner sounds lovely. I do like a nice sponge cake.

Helicopters.

1am budabudabuda, up and down, back and forth, buddabuddabudda, off you go, back you come, buddafuckingbuddbudda.

I hope you get tinnitus and white finger,you spinny cunt affront to aerodynamics.

On the flip side there's no better sound when you're about to get off rig after two or three weeks

Not the most relatable possibility...

+1 fuck off and die to the copper choppers. Why haven't they all been replaced by far, far cheaper drones by now anyway?