Jokes / Joke du jour!

lol

https://youtube.com/shorts/X0qw5tgpfhc?si=X2ywwotSKPk-qFLh

The pub quiz this evening had a finish the set up with a punchline round and one wasb
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut.
And before I could even get the cogs whirring my daughter said "a Barber queue" and I've never been more proud. Especially as I don't think she'd heard it before as she had for one of the other questions.

In honour of tomorrow
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Joseph is in his carpentry workshop his hammer slips he hits his thumb and swears loudly
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Jesus walks in and says ' yes father you called'

Saw an advert that said "Radio for sale, £10, volume stuck on full."

Thought to myself: "I can't turn that down."

Saw an advert for a pub for sale at a good price.
I already own one but I couldn't resist a bar gain.

lately I’m having regular sleepless nights endless eating.. could I be suffering with

Insonomnomnomnomnia

Why are there no aspirins in the rainforest?
Because the parrots eat them all.

Its Valentines so its bad chat up lines from Mock The Week

"Hey girl, are you a parking ticket? Cos I picked you up in a back street and now I can't afford to pay you"

"My nickname is 'Wifi' because I'm weak in the bedroom but will go down on you in a Zoom call"

Does anyone have a suggestion for a work suitable joke to an international audience (all speak English well)?

https://youtu.be/2dzx0HZxUV4?si=fOO-DVUkIjOFBS48

?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEE7YuzNpI0

That's amazing

Unfortunately I don't think I'd have a long enough to tell it.

My farmer friend asked if I could round up his 37 sheep.

I said, of course, no problem, 40.

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded…oh, never mind

The pilot of the aircraft that killed the President of Iran has been identified as a Mossad agent.

His name? Eli Copter

🤣

Gotta give you props for that one

That's a Hughes compliment.

Helicopter nerds are letting out a collective groan over that one

Sure they may groan now, but their humour is so cyclic they just need to wait.

It's why they don't hover around in the Jokes thread anymore...

Oh Jesus, nut more helicopter puns!

Yaw puns are terrible