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hippy
So glad I asked the question, thankful for all the great advice here. It's really got me stoked to go do some riding, it's been pretty shit being scared off from doing something I love because of 2 tonne battering rams piloted by arseholes.
Given the amount of Netherlands suggestions I'm going to have to really think about it! To the people that have ridden around NL, how did you get there? Is the train the best option? I've not got much cash to splash, so what's the camping situation like over there?
My main reasons for asking about France were because I know it well, can just about cobble together a conversation in the language, like the food, and live only a 20 minute ride away from Portsmouth Ferry Terminal on NCN224. Most of the ferries go to France but there is one that goes to Bilbao, so @hippy 's suggestion of the Trans Euskal are definitely one to remember for when I regain my fitness (looks hilly af).
Thanks @frank9755, your easy loop from the Hook of Holland sounds really ideal, think I'm going to look deeper into that
Great shouts from @d0cA voies vertes, @Aroogah francevelotourisme.com, and @elswick for cycle.travel too. I'm used to just following a paper map and signposts but I'm feeling a GPS of some kind might reduce the stress even further. Does a smartphone suffice or have people got suggestions?
I think @RonnieOatmilk & @T_Unit have hit the nail on the head with EuroVelo4. The St Malo > Caen suggestion might win here for me on this occasion. I know Brittany and Normandy well already, can get ferries to and from both destinations from Portsmouth, and riding NE means the prevailing SW winds should help me along.