Home DIY

Did I tell you about the pal of mine who viewed a Tory MPs house (to buy, he was dating a famous person at the time so they were rich) which had a sex dungeon? It had a hobby horse with a dildo on it, secret mirror wall urinals and a door they were not allowed to see what was through it.

No judgement, just looks same vibe.

With 1.5m space, you'd be able to at least manager a hobby dolphin.

Do you have an under stairs cupboard. My parents house had a hatch in there. You can square out the joists once you've lifted a few boards, it's the same setup as a loft hatch really.

We do but it’s tiled.
I’m worried about the load baring nature of the joists, surely I can’t just cut one out?

Hobby crocodile?

I initially wrote crocodile but dolphins are more into weird stuff, apparently, so it seemed more fitting for someone with Chris' predilections/problems.

Nabbed.

The blade it comes with has a kerf of 2.6mm, not sure if it will make much difference but I’ll wait to cut the splinter guard with the blade I’m buying separately which is 2.2mm

1 Attachment

Could you fix something along the underside of adjacent joists to support the one that's been cut?

1 Attachment

I’m worried about the load baring nature of the joists, surely I can’t just cut one out?

In the short term - depends what it's supporting. It might need propping either side if it's a critical one. But this is how loft hatches are fitted so yeah you can cut one (no more, but if your joists are like mine that should be plenty big enough).

You should really get a structural engineer in to advise, but the answer's likely to be noggins either side of the hatch and sistering the joists either side of the one you cut. If your joists are like mine they'll be old size (mine are 63 x 175) which is overspecced so you can use 47mm C24 carcassing instead. I had a structural engineer round on Friday and he said that was AOK (and joist hangers for your noggins > skew nailing).

How has no one linked this
https://youtu.be/KO25JYAaJC0?si=bd3WkUgGvw4JAO4b

Why do you need to cut a joist? Are you not cutting through floorboards, which are perpendicular to the joists? You just need to find the joist, then cut the floorboards above at the central part of the joist and lift the boards, that gives you access.

You can make it a hatch by joining the cut floorboards together. We have a few in our place and its just a hatch in the floorboards, no joist has been cut. Or am I misunderstanding your setup?

I’m guessing joists are too close together for my middle age lad spread to slither through, but I guess I need to check that.

Perfect Fanx. You free to do mine?

You should be able to tell your joist location if your floorboards are nailed from the top. I would do this then see if it will work/your can fit down there without cutting joists.

This is ours. We have about 1m crawl space underneath. There are loads of onion skins down there so I don't know what kind of sex dungeon the previous owners were running.

Onion smell deters rodents I guess?

A hatch that small would freak me out a bit. I'd make it double the size even if there's a joist running through the centre.

I did something similar to be able to access the crawl space (and store wine). I doubled up the joists either side of the one I cut and then added a frame to tie it all together again. The hatch was then made to the same strength as the surrounding floor and hung via some industrial hinges on one side and a 45 degree lip on the other.

1 Attachment

Oh that looks bloody great and sturdy.

Yeah nails are 36 cm apart so prob looking at less than 30cm to squeeze through. Unlikely.

Has anyone ever had their eaves extended? I want to get EWI installed and don't trust the contractor's offer of using verge trim sealed with silicone...

Stop pretending it's for adults.

Look at bruns image below and just screw joists between the two uncut joists and into the cut joist to complete the square.

midgets are people too

Fair, I’m going to use it though. Need to get insulation under the floors - so need to investigate first and remove and bunch of obsolete aerial cables. If I’m not back in a few weeks someone needs to come and find me.