Jokes / Joke du jour!

There we go

Who says "Zoo employee"?

The owner I imagine, when they're reviewing their koalafications....

Nice!

The owner had to check them because they might have been lion.

Trying to find a pun as good as them is aardvark

A friend of mine forgot to attend their psoriasis appointment
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They've been a bit flaky recently

My parents rarely took me to the zoo when I was a kid, because it was safari way.

https://youtu.be/4tGxkDz7xlI?si=2i_M9YJhfKR3pQxa

The osteology museum would like to apologise for the delayed opening today
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Due to the bank holiday they have a skeleton staff

I'm going to the British Museum this afternoon, anyone want anything?

Ver' good.

A local charity organization realized they had never received a donation from the city's very well known and successful lawyer.

The charity sent a representative to the lawyer's office who told him, "Sir, records show that you've never donated a penny to the charity. Our research indicates that your income is extremely large. Would you be interested in giving back to the community today?"

The lawyer scoffs, "Well does your research indicate that my dying mother is gravely ill and has tremendous medical bills?"

The lawyer continues, "Does your research indicate that my brother was fired from his job, lost his health insurance and is now stricken with cancer and enormous treatment costs?"

Taken aback the representative replies, "I did not know that...."

The lawyer goes on, "Does your research indicate that my sister's husband died last year and she is now raising a disabled child by herself who requires 24/7 support?"

Completely embarrassed the rep tells him, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea about any of these issues."

The lawyer says, "And if I didn't give a dime to any of them what makes you think I would support your charity?"

What is the most widespread breakfast cereal

Rife crispies

I don't know if Giggle To Myself will ever become an acronym, but I did that.

Thanks its a home made one

Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?

Reese. With her spoon.

I really like that one.

Nice :-)

Stolen from Radio 4 Broadcasting House this morning.

My two obese parrots passed away this week. I am obviously inconsolable, but it’s a great weight off my shoulders.

Got a pair of Sooty & Sweep puppets for sale, open to offers, I just want them off my hands.

My niece calls me my ankle.
I call her my knees.

A friend of mine has done really well in their vascular studies exam
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Great to hear their efforts were not in vein

How are the movies Titanic and the sixth sense alike?

Icy dead people.

A tortoise was mugged by two snails whilst crossing the road.

When the police turned up they asked him what the snails looked like.

I don’t know, he said, it all happened so fast.

lol 😅