The middle aged thread

I can only imagine. I just spent a week walking with a friend whose wife is a doctor and from what I can ascertain, she spends most of her days popping a finger in peoples bums. Someone recently dropped by with a gangrenous scrotum which they removed and I guess popped his unsheathed plums in some kind of plastic bag. I’ll stop now.

I can trump that...... but had better not on here!

Probably for the best, I’ve already made myself feel queasy. Not a job I could do.

A friend worked at a sexual health clinic in the West End. He would tell us that weeks stories over a pint, we have had people give a nearby table in a crowded pub rather than overhear the details.

I can beat that - My old man was in obs & gynae. Stories and pictures.

I don't fancy swapping notes!!

Maybe you guys start a 'Things people shove in their orifices' thread that most of us non-specialists can put on ignore?

I received this as a secret santa present one year. Its as eye watering as you'd imagine

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This may say a lot about your colleagues' perception of you.

You wouldn't ignore it though would you?

I’d loudly pretend to.

I've also received mugs from here from 2 different people on separate occasions which definitely says something about their perception of me https://cuntgifts.com/collections/cunt-mugs

In an unexpected escalation of my bowls club membership, I am turning out for the team next weekend. Should be qualifying for team GB by september at this rate.

Found myself going into a cathedral while on holiday - of my own volition - to see the architecture, etc.. Literally the thing I hated my parents forcing me to do while on holiday.

“Turning out for the team”

Crikey

Listening to jazz, eating All-Bran and shopping for casual wear at M&S is sure to follow.
Very soon.

Do any of you think about the one last bike? My riding days are running out.
I’ve had everything from made to measure 70s Cinelli SC to carbon Trek mountain bike.
Now I’m thinking maybe a Grevil or Stigmata with drop bars that can eventually switch to flat bars.

Don't think like that, your riding days can go on and on...

A friend's father was a keen cyclist and had a heart attack riding in Majorca when he was 80, then he switched to an e-bike so he could still go out and when he went blind the wrong side of 85 he went out as the passenger on a tandem.

I do two of these and one with 20% staff discount from my wife

My buddy spent £5k on his “last bike” at 50. We ride with a guy in his late 60s who seems pretty capable so I doubt it’s his last bike.

I feel that I have kinda achieved final bike status some years back with the custom steel thing

Yesterday I built a greenhouse.
Today I build a shed.

Ahhhhhhhhh.

Current projects >>>>>>>

But tomorrow you can napalm Cheltenham.

The shed is going on the Guinea Pig terrace.

Head (shed) won over heart (hot tub).

But tomorrow you can napalm Cheltenham

If the shed building puts me into a fit of pique, Luton had better watch out.