Mechanics and Fixing Any Questions Answered

If possible, try and press them in rather than hammer them in. You want them to go in straight, and hammering tends to not allow that.
Try knocking together a basic press using the old bearing, some washers and the quick release

old bearing, some washers and the quick release

Ooh, not a bad shout. Will give that a whirl if I can work out how to negotiate the axle.

if I can work out how to negotiate the axle

This is what an over axle bearing press is for. Or, you can be careful and use an appropriate sized socket

OK, there's no way on earth this bearing is going into that hub. Obviously, you have to avoid it going in at an angle, but that is impossible. I think I've gone beyond my skill level/available equipment/patience. On all the 'how to' videos, the bearings go in with a bit of a push. These feel like they're a thousandth of an inch too big.

Tried putting them in the freezer for an hour?

No, but I'm at the point where I'll try pretty much anything.

Bearings in freezer is a good tip. Also, heating up the hub shell before drifting in :)

heating up the hub shell before drifting in :)

Haven't really got any way of doing this.

Can you heat water up to near boiling?

I mean, I could pour a just-boiled kettle of water over it, but I'm not sure I want loads of water in the hub just before I stick the bearings in there.

Hairdryer?

Lighter?

LOLZ. Maybe about 30 years ago...

Probably got an old one somewhere. Isn't that a bit dangerous with all the grease involved?

But freezing bearings works well if you're quick, small ones heat back up quickly once in your hand.
If you're likely to be changing bearings more often, it's really worth investing in either the proper drifts (under a tenner each, but not super necessary if you can line up the old bearing well) and at minimum some threaded rod and nuts as a makeshift bearing press.

Degrease the shell, grease the bearing.

Kettle then hairdryer? Lol

LBS would do this for me for barely any cash, wouldn't they? I'm not sure I can be arsed with it any longer.

Probably, yeah.

It's just way too much pissing about and swearing for a job I'm probably never going to do again.

I'd go with frozen bearings and a massive hammer or a long nut and bolt with washers to slowly wind them in at the same time

Nope, not going in frozen either. I can line it up just about straight, but as soon as you apply any pressure, it goes awry. To the bike shop with it; life's too short.

Show us a photo of how you're trying to press them in, maybe we can provide more pointers.

Twat the cunt until it's straight.

Don't do that, but if you can half seat an old bearing back in a bit straight, you can use the axle as a centre guide for the new one on the other side, then swap and have an accurate centre guide for the other new one.