The middle aged thread

Peak middle age guardian is surely submitting a column to the 'country diary'.
Vomit inducing stuff.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/series/country-diary

The Guardian is a disgrace these days but we need something to cling to

In a list of medical checks you get just for being old, had an ultrasound scan on my aorta today. It was quite pleasant.

How did it sound?
Spotify release under ASMR?

The Dowlings live in Acton.

Treat yourself to a Wests one thursday.
if we amble down the Acton Swan,
you will most probably be able to confront him in person.
[Also he's married to the editor, so I presume this 'column' pays for the
weekly Waitrose shop?]

Ha, had a bladder ultrasound this week, isn't aging brilliant

At least they aren't invasive or include layering toilet paper sheets in the wc.

So you’ve had a colonoscopy too?
Great for losing weight.

Wait, what? How much weight? Where do I sign up? Is this how you got your username?

Don't worry I think that's next on thier list

Bladder scan does have the fun of requiring a full bladder and then having to sit in reception while they are running late wondering how long you can sustain full bladder for

Did you get the tip off to wear Tena pads for those sneeze/cough moments?

The problem with middle age is that often means parents are old age.

Layering toilet is urgent after drinking the prep liquid.
I think I lost three or four pounds in a few hours.

How do colonoscopies compare with cystoscopies? I can't say that I want one of those again in a hurry.

So you’ve had a colonoscopy too?

Thankfully not, the layering was for collecting the stool sample

The problem with middle age is that often means parents are old age.

Four of us in pub last night discussing dying and ill parents. Wished i'd stayed in

Upside of middle age: I have, over the previous two decades, acquired some really good looking suits for various special, sombre, celebratory or otherwise important occasions. (Golf club >>>>>>>>)

Downside of middle age: I can't fit into the fucking things.

For mine I was totally sedated, so no bother at all.
Anyone over 50 should definitely get one.
You want to spot trouble before it is too late.

On the other hand, I think about how many people I have known who died or are in terrible shape, and consider myself lucky.
I work with guys who drink heavily and consider themselves “manly”. They can barely walk from their oversize pickup truck to the locker room without wheezing. They ridicule me for riding a bicycle.

Ditto here for cycling wears :(

How do colonoscopies compare with cystoscopies? I can't say that I want one of those again in a hurry.

Not had a cystoscopy but have had colonoscopy - it would have been fairly unpleasant I think but I was bollocksed on whatever jollop they gave me, so it was all just a bit awkward.

Joined a bowls club this afternoon.

Ordered some vari-focals on Friday

I'm trying to pretend I don't need them.