Eurovision

Mate, I'm on my second bottle of Cava, I've forgotten about her already. I think the song and the singer had potential, but in a "cor blimey gunner, I"m just a cockn'y sparra'!" sort of way.

Was Croatia meant to be a pastiche of Laibach?

In no particular order

Serbia
Finland
Czechia
Australia
Belgium
Germany
Croatia

Finland, Norway, Germany and Croatia are the ones that stand out, not all of them for the good!

I would add Australia to that list. Sounded big and catchy.

Done you proper

Some info about Let 3, the Croatian entry:

…the band was sanctioned by police after performing naked at an open-air concert in Varaždin. The band's defence that they had not been naked because they had corks in their anuses did not convince the judge

Ohh yeah, they were good. Seems to be anyone that’s not pop! And Moldova come to think of it

As is tradition, I've had enough cheap lager and bowing out before the scoring starts. Israel is my bet for 2023 winner.

Presumably an everyday 'accessory' for the judge?

Israel is my bet for 2023 winner.

Really cheap lager

Why is it always the big hairy fat guys that perform naked with corks up their anus?

I've got a screw top.

A cork is like the last thing you want up your anus except for a sharp fingernail, surely? It’s a pretty rough thing to push into your anus with its rough, dry, lube-resistingly porous surface finish.

WTF is going on now?

I have no idea, but we’ll have to get to the bottom of it somehow

Exactly. Will happily take a sharp fingernail rather than a cork!

WTF is going on now?

Hold on. This.

It's the "worst cover version ever" section of the show

At least it goes to show you don’t need to know how to sing to do a rendition of imagine. Hope for us all

No one who has ever sung Imagine has ever been able to sing.

Woah, we bringing on Sonia? Viz issue 53 circa 1993 scouse songbird or Kylie with a fat arse?

I'm waiting for the hologram of Cilla!

I need her skincare routine to look the same 30 years from now

I mean literally none of the rest of the world is going to understand this.