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Josh
4yo got a magic key for Xmas they loved. Unfortunately they repeatedly smacked it against the fire guard and it broke.
MUM: "WTF dude!"
4yo: "don't worry dad can fix it"
ME: "Ummm... no he can't as it'll just rebreak at the stress point"
4yo: "what about you out a bandage around it?"
ME: "Hold my beer."