I hate

I want one so I can find out what cunt keeps pinching out milk.

There's also someone that, about once a month, tries all the cars in the street for any loose change.

Not going to get a Ring though. Because aMaZOn sTEelZ alL yoU'Re DAtAs*

*actualtrufax

Same here.

It's also fun seeing how well the last bit fitted together and how bad a job you made of the first bits (but not enough to disassemble it and make it all good from the start).

Like most things, it's always best to learn whilst doing someone else's before building your own.

I went through a week of making about 8 Ikea Kallax and Flysta shelving units.

Can't you just get a cheap spy camera?

I bought a couple from bang good but never got round to setting them up. But they weren't expensive.

Does my head in as well. Our rented house had one fitted when we moved in, the dog goes fucking berserk whenever she hears it. Our neighbours either side have them as well which also set her off barking because they're so loud.

What the fuck is a Ring doorbell? I have a video doorbell but no one ever uses it as the guard lets anyone and everyone into the building, so I get any parcels left on my doorstep.

One ring doorbell to rule them all, one ring doorbell to find them, One ring doorbell to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

pinching out milk

I’d like to know their technique, when I squeeze my fingers it just runs between them. Video or it didn’t happen

If it's Ikea and you have an electric screwdriver, then flat pack can be pleasant. If you are missing either of these two components then it's a different experience. Ikea instructions, labelling and assembly designs are pretty decent. I had to make an Argos bed once, was very painful in comparison.

Fingers crossed no-one near us has one, at least that we can hear anyway. Just wanted to say I do enjoy your rants though, keep up the good work.

Two of my neighbours have Ring doorbells but I've never heard them. Does it come with a cunt setting or something?

and you have an electric screwdriver, then flat pack can be pleasant.

This. Especially if it has a torque clutch.

There's also someone that, about once a month, tries all the cars in the street for any loose change.

It’s unlikely the Police will do anything with the video. My neighbours showed a video of our local parking change thief to the Police who replied that of course. they knew who it was but the effort of prosecution wasn’t worthwhile.

Thanks for the thoughts, my electric screwdriver clutch was set to 5. I shall dm you when the bed for the spare bedroom arrives, anything to help you experience inner peace...

The chap who sits across from me has a really bad nose whistle today...

Think Me, Myself and Irene when Hank gets his nose smashed.

I'd like to smash my colleague until he dies with his own shoe.

I think I have Misphonia and hate any sort of chewing, persistent coughing, snorting etc.
That would fuck me right off. Earplugs?

Just so you don’t feel othered: I too hate flat pack.

It’s easy, so any fule can do it, so there’s no sense of achievement when I get it right. And then when I manage to fuck something up and have to go back two steps I feel a double idiot hole for not being able to follow basic instructions like any fule could.

It’s impossible to win a game of flat pack, it’s either a goalless draw or you lose thanks to a sloppy own-goal.

That’s why you should always bin the instructions before you start. The achievement of building said flatpack unaided by an idiots guide.

Nose plugs

I got a Ring doorbell for Christmas - haven't installed it yet but I think it might be useful to know who is at the door as I can't hear anyone knocking🎧 plus my neighbour is a psychopath and plans to 'hurt me'.

Can the ring sound be customised ? e.g. Dave Edmunds

^https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMjwb13TFCo

Not to that extent, for the ringers you go into chime settings and choose a new chime sound from a predefined and often changing list.

Film Crews.

There's a film crew dropping off a bit of set near the middle of Greenwich this morning.

They've managed to close about 10 parking bays, they have two large vans parked on the pavement and there's a good 10 blokes in high Viz being annoying.

You'd think they were building the Blackwall Tunnel, not dropping off a bit of painted MDF nailed to some 2x4's.

Online shops asking me to post how I use my recent purchases on social media.
Show us how you wear your new socks ? On my fucking feet like the vast majority of people who bother with socks.
Show us your washing machine in-situ? No I fucking won't!

i'll change my ring doorbell chime when the last fucker turns off the typing sounds on their phones.

oh this, very much.

Keeps a few people in a job tho I imagine