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And breathe
(Not underwater)
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Went to visit my parents recently. I knew they read the mail and the telegraph as a "counterbalance" to the guardian (which I've never seen them read) but I was surprised that they were watching GBNews when I arrived. We had a rational conversation about how it was just British Fox News so should be ignored totally and then they told me they also watched Talk TV as they like Piers Morgan and I gave up (to be fair, when I explained why I find him so odious, they realised he should be locked in a room and ignored until the sun goes out).
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This is carbon-copy of me and my in-laws. The last proper conversation I had with him ended with him shouting "I just get the feeling you don't like capitalism"
That was Christmas Day.
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PhilDAS
atz
TooTallTim
@Ottomanotter
My godforsaken in-laws.
If I have to listen to another Daily Mail inspired commentary on the state of the country I will fucking kneecap myself.
Today they read a story about the reintroduction of bison in Kent. Top quotes included:
“These people are completely insane.”
“What will they do when a child gets eaten or something like that?” THEY’RE FUCKING HERBIVORES YOU ABSOLUTE PAIR OF FUCKING JOHNSONS
“It says here they scratch tree trunks, so that’ll be the end of all the trees in Kent won’t it - thought these lefties liked trees?” NO YOU PIG IGNORANT FUCKS, PART OF THE AIM IS THAT THEY’ll GET RID OF NON-NATIVE SPECIES AND IN THAT PROCESS CREATE DEADWOOD FOR INVERTEBRATES AND LIGHT FOR REPTILES AND NATIVE PLANTS. SHOULDN’T THE IDEA OF SMASHING FOREIGNERS TO BITS APPEAL TO YOUR TINY FUCKING RACIST MINDS?!
“All this time and money and for what? Insects? What do they matter?” AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
There is no imaginable upside to getting into a fight with these people but it’s so hard to listen to. My wife has become a master at saying ‘and breathe’ with her eyes alone across the table which helps. If they ever vocalise these sorts of things in the presence of our kids though I will execute with extreme prejudice.
It just baffles me how very well educated, well travelled people can so regularly end up down these rabbit holes of bitterness, negativity and small-mindedness and what seems like
pure hate for anything and everything not within their little bubble.
I’m going to go for a swim just so I can scream underwater for an hour. Thanks for listening.