I confess...

I did not. But I will from now on out.

I was today years old when I learned that anyone wore base layers over bib straps

I've never washed my HRM strap. It gets used nearly every day.

When hoovering, I occasionally continue past the kitchen out onto the patio. No artificial grass though!

I hoover my shed, aka The Bike Shrine.

Oh, mate.

It’s heated and lit and got mountain bikes in there. They get muddy, it dries and drops off. If I didn’t clear it up I’d have a shed full of tomatoes or carrots or grapes or weeds ..or...
Hey, I might be on to something here.

I once bought a discount trolley token

Prove it

You'll have to look at all my old comments

You are a cunt and you never bought a trolley token. Now prove otherwise or I’ll call you a cunt everyday.

I still have a couple of old fake pound coins that I use as trolley tokens. If anyone wants one I’ll let them go for £2.50 each.

Post internationally??

I still have a couple of old fake trolley tokens that I use as pound coins. If anyone wants one I’ll let them go for £2.50 each.

My old pound notes are fucking useless with shopping trollies, no matter how I try to fold them

As if anyone post-Brexit can fill a whole trolley...

I got so bored of not having coins for trolleys recently I bought one of these things. Not used it for a trolley yet, but the local chickenshop does 2 hot wings (but puts three in the bag) for £1 and doesn't take card for less than £5 so has basically become my wings token and I couldn't be happier with that.

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Easy, so long as you stick to.....

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Took me much too long to figure out how it worked and how it helped you acquire chicken. Slow brain day.

Rather than buying one having you considered just calling a promotions company and getting them to send you a sample of their supermarket trolly keyring coin for free?

No, but if you know of a charity I could somehow steal one from I'd be interested...

Cash only, collect from pole hill obelisk late at night.

Cunt.

Tune in tomorrow for the next thrilling installment.

No one has ever done this and unless you can prove otherwise, you know what's in store.