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  • There are better things to do on your birthday, there are also much worse things. I'd been nursing a dodgy achilles so hadn't so much as left the flat for the past week. Thought I'd give it a crack anyway, forecast was as good as you could hope for so it was now or never to tick off my first 200.

    Made it to about Chislehurst before my achilles started tightening up, I tired to ignore it but feared the worst... Thankfully, and I really don't know how, by the time we hit the first info control at Knatts Valley the tightness/pain seemed to have vanished. Sun was out, my spirits were up.

    The one thing that was grumbling already was my Garmin; 'off course... make a U-Turn, make a U-Turn, course found!' - shut up you useless gobshite!!!

    Lovely route through to the next info control and then the stamp one at the Bells Yew Green Village Hall at the 70k mark. I was giddy with joy at the sight of a Tunnock's Caramel, what a result!

    Through another info control and on to Battle, halfway mark. Achilles still good, legs could definitely feel the lumpiness. Raclette and red onion toastie, quick espresso and a chat with a group of young whippets who'd barely broken a sweat... "Yeah the tough bit is the way back, including Ide and Brasted..." fan-flippin'-tastic.

    Rolled out of Battle to gloomy skies and sure enough, bit of a downpour which made the next 15-20kms quite sketchy but stayed upright. The lumps were relentless now and I distinctly remember a tipping point where I thought 'oh I'll just stay in the big ring and power over this tiny lump'... Nope. That is absolutely not going to happen, not a chance.

    On to Uckfield at 140k and petrol station drinks/snacks. Dark skies and threats of drizzle, chat of waiting it out for a bit but I got going and was lucky to escape the rain. A stretch of 10k or so across Ashdown Forest into a bit of a headwind, handful of close passes (Qashqai and X-Trail, Nissan's cuntiest duo) and by the time I hit 160km I was flagging. "Just keep the legs ticking over and save some matches for Ide and Brasted..." Quick stop to shake off numbing hands and a bocadillo left me feeling a little better.

    On to Ide; crawl up this one, down a bit and then it's just Brasted and on to the Velodrome. Crawl up I did, final info control on the village green and on we go. Brasted looms, I feel ok. I got this, I've saved some matches, right? Useless Gobshite Garmin's ClimbPro tells me I'm on it, I switch screens as there's no use staring at that. Now, where are those matches? Are they wet? They're certainly not Original Cook's Matches... Fuuuuuck this hill with 180kms in the legs!!! Turns out I never had any bloody matches to save. Just a useless lump of flesh to haul up. Got there in the end, barely.

    Roll on through South London, nothing says you're home quite as reassuringly as the crack of fried chicken bones under wheel. Over the top of Westwood Hill and through Dulwich, the college and grounds looking sublime in the early evening light. Into the Velodrome to a round of applause which was nice.

    Thanks @honk for organising, was that @jackbepablo that I chatted with for a bit? Good to mee you! Also good to meet and roll out with @hippy.

  • Oh, the applause were a nice touch. :)

    That's two audaxes in a row I've been clapped for on arrival (not even sarcastically)

  • Excellent clapping, certainly raised a smile.

    Really enjoyed the route, will attempted to get an official place next year.

    My poor Moser was in a sorry state by the end

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