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  • People who fuck about with the settings on the toaster.

    My brother used to come round while I was out and eat toast but he'd always whack it up to max then pop it by some timer in his head or smell or some shit then leave it on max so I'd end up with burnt crumpets once a week or so, had to have a proper word where if it happened again he was banned from my kitchen. Thankfully he's moved to Hong Kong now and can't hurt me anymore. Couldn't give a shit about oven shelves though.

  • I have the opposite in my house. I have the toaster set on 3-4 and toast my crumpets twice. My son has his on 1-2. Many's the time my crumpets pop on his setting. I then have to try and work out how to achieve my version of crumpet toastiness having wasted the first attempt.

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