MAJs gay bikes [she’s in her fitness era]

Maj’s Current Projects Thread: A Haiku

‘Hesh’, ‘Brexity’, ‘Crust’,
Phrases I don’t understand,
Yet I keep reading…

I fucking love the bt-2

I didn’t even shout tinkering with my bike
my bike

I now have this monstrosity

22-48 baby

Pub?? Bike???????

I hate it completely now so it’ll motivate me to fix the homer tomorrow or Monday

The bt-2 tho??? The new tool bag??

Best purchase I’ve made for bikes in a long time

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Done, except maybe a kink out the chain

Glad to join the new trend sweeping London cycling scene of “Kermit bikes”

Feels like you could ride it all day

I will not be doing that

It barspins

I didn’t even swear building it

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I think this your next bike: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Independent-Fabrication-Ti-Planet-X-Cafe-Cruiser-/353817401197?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0

this is a very nice pompino, it would indeed a very "me" move to buy a third one for the thread

£875 postage to the UK haha.

The homer is kind of like if you used content aware resize on a standard 26er dad bike.

I am in no condition to ride this bike rn, and the city is litterally TEEMING with omicron, but god, I cycled this for like 10 minutes before passing out and it’s magnificent

Will be good when things normalise again, looking forward to cycling with friends

been thinking about the PACER

a picture of it is below.

now you may be sitting in your armchairs right now, tablet in hand thinking

"nice bike, desirable frame, component choice isn't my choice but with a few tweaks you could have a nice little run around for not much money"

and let me tell you mulled wine drinker, you would be correct. one indeed, could put some silver spacers on, sort that saddle angle and maybe, just maybe, change the bars to get a more modern drop position. it would be a delightful bike.

i'm sorry to say however, both the seller and the buyer are mentally ill.

which will become apparent shortly, to new readers at least.

when negotiating for this bike i knew @merle had lost their desire for it. she was telling me how she used to ride it around london when she knew nothing of bikes and it filled her with joy. her brother had borrowed it to ride across europe and it survived just fine. It's after this however, when merle got sick, diseased, rotten from the brain in such a way chain lube started dripping out of her ears the joy stopped. she'd learned about tubing profiles, bars shapes, fit, pedal, japanese componentry, track bikes the lot. and in a desire to somehow improve the item she loved most, elevate it, bring it with her, parts were changed. we had swept bars, straight bars, 3 different types of dropped bars, but nothing bought the spark back. in the end she had destroyed that of what she loved.

like a city skylines save which had got out of hand, chose to start a new save, elsewhere, using what she'd learnt. no longer having the desire and spark to revive this once lost treasure.

this is where i step in, seeing they have what is possibly the most desirable surly frame, equal with that of the 1x1; knowing we're exactly the same height, saddle length and muscle flexibility this fine thing would fit me.

let me tell you, like maverick i locked on and intercepted this pending bargain, as she lay stun locked between sentimentality and the ever growing desire for new cycling experiences

merle, i said, i will give you £400 for that bike

the group chat erupted

"hayleys been at work too long"
"go home hayley"
"hayley have you been drinking with jim again"
"hayleys got two boyfriends and the power has gone to her head"

i was steady in my words so continued

merle, i will take that bike off you for £400, at any time, any place, i will even find you a new bike

merle herself was used to my terrorising nature, but warmed by it in the same way she usually is

"only if you find me a new bike, and even then i might just keep it"

the challenge was set then, the hunt on. i fired up my ebay and got to work

weeks went by, months, linking bikes from all marketplaces, thorns, yates, bob jacksons, she has a things for quills you see, ever since she got that atom. but none of them sparked joy. a few however, did induce momentary neuro divergency in the group chat, there was one particular single speed thorn which sent the group spiraling all morning, people saying they were going to paddington as we type to get it, others nervously coding SQL as they try not to think about the 26" long wheel base single speed which would make the ideal country path ripper.

but this wasn't to be the one

it was a few good weeks later i had given up, readers of my thread know i've been looking for a new steel single speed. I was on ebay for myself searching 20 odd pages or so of "single speed bike". a load of tat really. but page 5?

"green single speed"

lugged fork?
700c?
contrast fork no less
single speed thingy so verticle drop out?

i click through and it's a wonderful orbit, fully lugged in kermit green, not a bike for me but a bike which could get a bike for me.

a quick past into the group chat at 10 am on a workday? surprising silence. odd. but i go back to scrolling, no idea what but i definitely was not working. only to sweep back to the chat 30 minutes later to see an explosion of compliments from the frame, none other than from merle herself. the usual stuff

what are the specs
do i need anything for this
omg its so nice
god could i really do it?

i had been this before, i was over convincing, pointed out it was nice and a good price, she should get it and went back to work. i'll let merle continue her orbit story from here, it's not the thread for that.

but the result of this, i have a new pacer being sold to me, at my desired price no less.

merle sent me a dm at this point, not wanting to discuss such finality of sale with the hoards

“just so you know im only selling this because it’s you” she chirpsed, it made me feel a little special i'm not going to lie

“You’re not going to take it all to bits are you”, slightly less flirty and more concerned now from her, to which i tried to assure her it would stay pretty much as is but i might put different bars on as i don’t like them ergonomically, from experience

“Ah ok, do you have another stem? 26mm?” she enquired

This caught me off guard, i fired back a no why? To which she explained she wanted to keep her cute little nitto stem for the new orbit. Which readers, is where it all started to go wrong for each others mental stability.

Suddenly im faced with buying a new stem, they’re all ugly and the bike already looks tory itself, being green at all. the idea of buying a nice, read expensive, stem in silver is it would lock me mentally into this look. One which is fine if i’m handing over £400 and riding it till it falls to bits, but less so fine if im receiving a non functioning bike and having to add things anyway.

So i said, in no uncertain terms merle, i want the frame, the wheels, the mech, shifter and the seatpost, do you want to keep the rest?

It was a resounding yess to this, damn girl even took the chain back in the proposed negotiations, but alas it’s all less stuff i’d have to keep in my basement or box that i can stub my toe on, and realistically speaking. £400 for a pacer frame is good going anyway, especially with some nice wheels.

I ended up part exchanging some nitto bars from my old pomp and some paul levers for a slight discount, £350 in final negotiations. But really money is pointless here, i was told quite firmly by her if i ever sell it she’s getting first refusal and will almost certainly take it back.

Really it’s a insurance premium, a deposit, holding payment or other finance terms i want to use incorrectly.

But moral of the story is it’s done, i get it after xmas, the pile of parts and scraps which is simply a gas pipe road frame which just fits a 32, but somehow has a charm.

What am i going to do with it?

Right now im thinking flat bars

Nitto cross bars, nitto stem, black, nitto bar ends
Esi grips? Or some version that looks like them
Some shimano road levers and black road calipers, 105s fit 32s right?
I have some silver cranks and will get a new chainring, rin it 14-28 with a 38 up front.

The black silver and green look will take the tory edge off a little, a little 9 speed friction shifting hybrid, all the roadbike energy i need.

I’ve spoken to the copy writing team for the marketing for the new build and they sent me this

“the play of black, green and silver on a sporty lightweight road frame, made of utilitarian steel but with the vigor and buzz of sport performance, harks back to a movie icon, one which donned the silver screen. helmed by steve mcqueen no less. for all intensive purposes this is the bullitt mustang of the bike world”

If it will stay like this? Who knows

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oh god

Tldr. Is that not too small for you?

I skipped the blurb... There was too much writing but also came to the same conclusion..

Front end looks lowwww.

Need a limp dick stem

I read it now. It is frantic but good.

Limp dick stem is a compromise

I see your genius now.

I wouldn't say that the green is tory

Perhaps better suited to somebody about 3x your age though

If you can find/be arsed to sell a kidney, TRP 957 calipers are the way to go.
I miss my Pacer!

desirable frame

this was never the case, even when JB had it

The search for the perfect bike is ultimately futile. The search for the perfect ride is the path to true enlightenment.*

*Tao of the Sacredhart

Some of the best rides I've done have been on the 'wrong' sort of bike!

I want to make it clear, under no pretences will any of these bikes get ridden, nor am I under the disillusionment that one of these will carry me into old age or provide a hand me down to a god child,

I simply want a nice hybrid with fixie energy but gears so I don’t get tired,

@amey this is just incorrect, all steel frames are desirable

@jontea I will not be buying brakes for this, I will use what’s on there as I’m informed 32s will not fit under 105s

@BareNecessities it is not the most Tory, but yes it is a little spitfire fan. A nice powder coat cosworth blue would sort it out, but equally so would a sticker job

@Hulsroy it’s not technically if I get over my riv pulling, also me and Merle are exactly the same size and swap bikes, I assume it will fit

Interestingly she demands she can’t fit a 58 and thinks it’s insane I keep saying I can

@Josh bike insights tells me it’s 16mm stack more than the langster without accounting for the external headset and the, what appears to be, 30-40mm of spacers, with the extra 20mm from the bars will be sufficient

@Tijs interesting spelling of delusion

The pacer looks great. If it were mine I'd flip the stem, put some silver coloured spacers on, swap the bars and levers for my own fit preference and then just ride it.

Every bike maj gets she says she's going to "just ride it" but she doesn't clarify that she'll "just ride it" "once" before going down the rabbit hole and emerging saying something like "This is now perfect, it's the Ofsted Inspection of bikes"

the most Tory…blue would sort it

Does not compute. Blue is the Toriest colour.

I read about 3/4 of this. I'm quite pleased with myself.

Any vehicle in 'british racing green' is more tory than a blue one.

I have sourced a lovely red king headset from @Thrasher and a red saddle from @snoops

For what might be the ugliest green red pairing of colours going

In the minds eye it will be “quirky” and “kinda cheugy / hesh” to have such a look, a bit “corny Americana” like when you see those ugly custom American bikes overloaded with anodised parts (geek house and indipendant owners don’t read this)

Purple cables will add to this

Am now nearly settled on parts, struggling to find a casette to fit the rear mech so might get a alvio rear mech to make it easier in the long run

Still not seen the bike in person, but am quite excited no less