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I think I've been doing too many group rides which are just drop in and join, completely forgot about the private groups and that everyone has to be friends. I'll have a think as joining a existing event could cause issues but we could always join at a set time and place and then ride. And for late joiners they could follow my account and select ride with when they join
To organize you have 2 options: meetup or joining an existing groupride. For a 'private' meetup the others need to be friends with you on Zwift and you need to invite them individually. You, as an organiser, will have the big yellow arrow above your head.
Alternatively you pick an existing (smallish) groupride and ask everyone to wear the same jersey. But ofcourse that is more public, pace is set by the organiser and it won't be that easy to spot where you are.
(Maybe you knew all this and my post is redundant.)