Hybrids / bad mountain bikes / insta wagons / bling rigids - please, i beg, no 700c 😩

Just flipped to the anti-porn thread for the first time in three years and found this. Full circle.

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If the carbon double chainset doesn't disqualify it

#774 - no, none of them
#790 - absolutely not, please read the rules
#800 - get this out, cosco

have been conducting some research this weekend on tyre size and our current party line, now, believe me, i am as dogmatic and ideologically pure as they come. truly.

it's, really hard existing in the world with such a perfect moral compass, accurately calibrated between electoral pragmatism and idealism, to be a perfectly rational, logical person who is morally and ethically balanced in regards to what mandates a wanker bike

but as i was riding on my own wanker bike this week, 29x2.1 knobblies with mud clearance on post war new town segregated cycle ways. after having been forced, due to mechanicals related to my wanker bikes construction, to ride 700x35 slicks, it may have affected my resolve.

2" may just be too big,

now, before this triggers a leadership challenge, please let me defend myself. when i looked for smaller tyres, luxury ones, the largest you can get readily from true wanker brands, is 700x43 or 700x42, excluding mtb specific tyres. now members, i don't expect you all to throw out such house hold names as ultradynamico? argubly a pillar of WBH

I propose we allow 700x42 and 650x48, no less, no smaller, but this would simply allow us to strengthen our ranks and open the amount of product we can buy.

as we know, the more options we have to buy, the more brain worms we can grow, the less we are to think, reflect or contemplate our existence between each bike project.

also, here are some wanker bikes,

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If we're allowing 650b x 48 I'm resigning.

650 isn’t a wheel size.

Yeah, I mean that’s just a rando bike by that point.
Careful, there’ll be another schism/uprising...

If we're allowing 650b x 48 I'm resigning.

Aye brother! thumps table

2" may just be too big

We are straying from the path... I have some perfectly good 45mm Riddlers that would ride a lot quicker but where is the wank in that??

I can see my proposal has been contentious to the party base, i anticipated this and of course respect my fellow honourable members many have worked hard over the weeks this party has been active.

I will not be putting this motion forward as a policy in our manifesto, but will be asking for a vote on the topic at the party conference (this year will be held in the oakgrove waitrose, milton keynes, please respond to your local branch leader if you're interested in attendance). I obviously would like to see it passed, and ask members to really think about where we see the party going; if you do not see the proposition fit for this party, then i would encourage submitting a compilation of fast rolling, nice feeling 29x2.0-29x2.1 tyres.

while i dont see my term ending anytime soon, When it does, i know the party is in good hands, and i will be creating the "retro gravel bike foundation". while i'm unable to work on a cause i feel passionate about here, i do feel that we need to preserve 700x35-700x43 (max), IS mount, steel, unicrowned fork with minimal mounts, gravel bikes from 2013-2017. this will allow an opportunity to all those great bikes which do not fit in the ever increasing xc/chariot atmosphere of the gravel thread, but are not designed for FBNPNA but day rides.

We are straying from the path

Meta comment. A true wanker bike never strays from the path

fast rolling, nice feeling

This sounds suspiciously like the way one might describe tyres that are actually ridden

Dropper post and Brooks saddle with shiny Paul and White Industries bits. Must be wank right?

Source

Crabon fork?

Good point. Missed that rule. Everything mounts might save it though?

I believe this is a supported frameset

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*Immediately unsubscribes

Putting your kid in the basket does not make this a dad bike. This is where it truly belongs.

NOT PERMITTED

Bragging about pinching your wife's brakes is a shitty move too. I hope they are doomed to an eternity of mushy spyres as a result.

Nah, double crankset and puny tyres counts it out.

Bloody doubles.

Who will be the first to pull off an ironic triple?

https://bluelug.com/bike-catalog/11197/

the avid black ops research levers :weary:

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Strong vibes from the gbp thread / French wank. The Marin maybe a little too clean but it's also definitely wank (Stealth Wank?)

black ops research levers

Can't wait to win euromillions 😭

Btw how does this rule work where 29" is encouraged but 700c is not allowed?

#559gang

700x50 is allowed, it has to be at least 2", any less is disqualified much to my dismay in trying to slacken the rule recently

But i respect the honourable members holding me to my mandate

it essentially disqualifies any "gravel bikes"/ "audax bikes" / "city cruisers"