Settle an argument for me

You haven’t heard of Moser’s daughter Veronica?

Gutted to have missed this thread. Living in a country with pretty awful toilets and questionable food hygiene means that there's way more toilet chat in my life than there used to be. And I'm a runner, I wasn't devoid of toilet chat before.

I'm a runner

I don't think we've seen this wipe technique before.

Has anyone changed their technique as a result of reading this thread? Asking for a friend.

Hopefully a few more people have now realised the error of their ways and remain seated

Standing is the mongo push of hygiene. It’s important that we shame our friends into making the change

And I'm a runner

You could maybe do with some more fibre in your diet

If you're a sitter, do you reach your hand down into the bowl to get to your target?

Also, how does one approach things like hotel and festival toilets?

Confused by that last bit - do you do your shit standing up too?

Hovering if using a public toilet, that's not sitting is it?

Hovering is a self-perpetuating abomination - very difficult to get the seat dirty if you sit on it.

The seat is already dirty, I'm not sitting on the previous hoverers shit, it's a public toilet after all

To be clear, I'm not against sitters, just trying to understand the mechanics around navigating an already dirty toilet that you aren't prepared to clean yourself.
I believe that any option can be a route to success (just get your arse clean!)

You can't be so adamantly aint-standing if you sometimes have to do it right?

One might even speculate that if you could only choose one option and you know you're gonna encounter a filthy toilet on a few occasions in life, you'd have to pick the standing option

How did I miss this thread?

New discovery since moving to the UK: Portable squeeze-bottle bidets. You fill it in from the sink, scoot to the edge of the seat and "insert it" towards the bowl from behind to "wash up". Very practical, pressure is adequate as long as it's filled up, reduces waste. Of course wiping with normal / dry TP after that operation might/will leave you with some white dingleberries, so finishing up with wet toilet tissues (Andrex et al.) is recommended.

Discuss.

There are flushable wipes that are pre-moistened for your convenience. Not sure what they're like for the ocean/environment though (Andrex branded available)

I think adding water to a dry TP can increase the chance of moist dingleberries if I'm not mistaken.

I think my preferred wet clean solution is in Thailand; a high pressure hose attached to the cistern. Compact and effective, although I'd like to tissue paper for drying

insert it

Probably not the best choice of words, or maybe I read it correctly?

Amazed there's not been talk about the post night out stopper (precursor to the full evacuation in 30 min), where sit down wiping is necessary due to fatigue.

insert it
Probably not the best choice of words

Yeah, "position it" would've been better but not as funny.

so finishing up with wet toilet tissues (Andrex et al.) is recommended.

If none available go for the ghetto wet wipe, spit on TP. Needs to be at least three ply though.

Loving how invested in this thread you are.

Is the bottle best filled as you enter the room before going into the cubicle or do you do the business, scamper out with pants round the ankles and fill it up then scoot back to the hopefully still unoccupied cubicle to clean up?

💩 I'm out

I bet that's a relief...

You bring the bottle in and fill it before going into the cubicle...

go for the ghetto wet wipe, spit on TP

u wot m8