I hate

When's the last time a cereal came with a toy inside the pack? You have to send off for them now, takes all the fun away.

Dunno - we had supermarket own brand cereal or from a place where you scooped it out if big plastic barrels into a polythene bag and had it weighed. A sad northern upbringing.

Sometimes we’d get an extra bag to play with. But no toy.

Shock-childhood-flashback to cereal with toy in

It was indeed a wonderful thing. I'm pretty sure the general pattern was that initially toys were to be found unpackaged amongst the cereal, involving a small hunt, before requiring rinsing to remove the Rice Krispies dust. Then they were still to be found within the bag, but individually wrapped. Finally, you had to send away for them.

Toasted home made sourdough topped with crushed avocado and goji berries served on a slate.

Cold porridge... Not even joking...

I call cold porridge ‘overnight oats’ because I’m a middle class wanker.

Are you lot massively showing how young you are? Toys in cereal packets was a new thing! It was stamped addressed envelopes and 28 days of waiting by the front door for the postman when I was a kid!

This instant gratification toy in cereal thing can >>>>>>>>

Am I the only one who simply cannot, despite practicing daily for over 40 years, judge exactly how much milk is required on breakfast cereal?

I blame the plastic bottles for this and also the ‘milk splashback’ mentioned earlier. There is something about the position of the handle that makes the milk hesitate leaving its container then, 2 degrees of tilt later, it rushes out en-mass.

Find a small cup / glass, and fill that first.

That's how I get my 4 year old to do it...

Getting into your car to discover your dog walking coat in the back seat with a dog egg in the pocket being slowly baked in the sunshine.

Good point, well made. Alas, there isn’t a four year old in this house but two twenty-somethings who make it next-to-impossible to find a clean cereal bowl, let alone a bowl AND a glass.

Are you lot massively showing how young you are?

Maybe, but I think you are too, or they're showing how much older they are than you.

Toys in cereal packets was a new thing! It was stamped addressed envelopes and 28 days of waiting by the front door for the postman when I was a kid!

This is something that swung back and forth because of health and safety concerns (e.g. children choking on small plastic toys that fell out of the packet into their bowl). So you've placed yourself in the peak H&S panic period.

does anyone else do milk first, then cereal? or am I a psychopath?

I feel like I have a moral obligation to report you to the authorities before you harm somebody.

Problem is, absorption rate differs by cereal, so if you are changing frequently then it makes it a milky lottery. Weetabix for example can seemingly absorb 2-3 litres of milk per biscuit, thirsty buggers.

peak H&S panic period

A pal of mine used to work in Sainsburys, in the fruit and veg section.
during an international football event (Euros or World Cup), the lettuce was wrapped in a football print cellophane for (?)reasons(?).
Someone complained to him "What if my son thinks it's a real football? He might eat it and choke"
Years later I am still baffled by the concept of being worried your child might confuse FOOD for a FOOTBALL and try to eat the FOOTBALL and choke, because it is actually FOOD.

what's an acceptable level of breakfast for a big bloody grown up manly man?

Sausage/egg/beans/black pudding/hash browns/chips/fried bread/bacon/mushrooms/tomatoes all served in a greasy spoon from the window seat whilst keeping an eye on your white van parked outside on double yellow lines.

does anyone else do milk first, then cereal? or am I a psychopath?

What the fuck is wrong with you

I do not recall you using this methodical approach in your high chair.

Sheesh.

Real H&S concerns are still a very genuine problem in the workplace, but that's the kind of idiocy that the tabloids love to hear about and print.

a lot.

How the fuck do you choke on a football - Just how big is this child's mouth?

Larger than the brain of the parent.

Oatibix are astoundingly thirsty. I suspect their properties could be repurposed to soak up chemical spills etc.