Jokes / Joke du jour!

minivan

LOL

Cinderella is having trouble with her snappy snaps order
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She's confident that ' one day my prints will come '

A friend of mine has just been done for stealing advent calendars
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He was given 25 days

What’s yellow and really needs a shit?

Must turd.

Those Marks and Spencer Christmas cracker jokes are shit.

Those Marks and Spencer Christmas cracker jokes are shit.

😂

He will not stop...

@JAHtim is incorrigible

Those Marks and Spencer Christmas cracker jokes are shit.

Thought they are from http://www.mumsnet.com ?

Pearoast?

Archaeologists have discovered the Tomb of a previously unknown Pharaoh.

When they opened it, The Mummy was covered in Chocolate and Nuts. The Hieroglyphics identified him as Pharaoh Roche

How does the snowman get to work?

By icicle.

That's very good.

Am I the only one that genuinely enjoys @JAHtim 's constant deluge of middle of the road dad jokes?

Great stuff - the official lufguss Winter joke.

Absolutely yes.

+1 for @JAHtim 's MOTR dad jokes.

Also.....

Did you hear about the farmer who trained his chickens to play football....?

He had to pack it in.

There was too much fowl play.

Sorry, not sorry.

They played on a chicken-proof lawn. It was impeccable.

Am I the only one that genuinely enjoys @JAHtim 's constant deluge of middle of the road dad jokes?

yes, only you

+1 here for more JahTim.

It’s the persistence that makes them good.

agree

Another +1 here, big fan of @JAHtim 's contributions.

+1 grateful

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A local restaurant is advertising ' pizza at any time '
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So I ordered a margarita from the middle ages

I woke up in the fire place this morning
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I'd slept like a log

An all time classic of all time.

I've just been thrown out of b & q
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Some bloke in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking
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Well I managed to get a few punches in before people intervened