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I am also not a lawyer, I think you'll find you're missing the "fuck you" clause. Which states :
Following application of said punch, the receiver of the shitty opinion has a legal obligation to respond with "fuck you" no sooner than 3 seconds after said punch lands and no later than 7 seconds after punch lands.
Too big (if you weigh more than 50kg you're fat, apparently), too tall, not cute, short hair, too red, too sweaty, boobs... And people don't see a problem with commenting on all these things to your face. It gets you down after a while.