Does anyone know anything about gardening?

That's a bit more than I was expecting

Cheaper and similar sized ones are of course available, but they're even more fugly. My next door neighbour came to have a socially-distanced chat while I was bolting it to the front of the house, and didn't immediately scream 'Aaaaaahhhh, my eyes' so I'm taking it that he approves. Or at least doesn't object to its presence too vociferously.

But then I guess it's pretty large.

That's what I thought. The tap (missed from the original shipment) arrived today so I drilled the outlet hole, fitted the tap, and switched the diverter from 'Closed' to 'Open'. It's already full. I'm now having prepper dreams of multiple 1000 litre reservoirs underground in the gardens to free me from the tyranny of mains water supply. The problem round here is that, due to the level of the water table, underground structures have a nasty habit of floating to the surface if not very firmly weighted in place. One of the local petrol stations found that out to their cost a while back with one of their underground fuel tanks.

Might be a bit late now but I’ve got the Niwaki GP secateurs and they’re ace. I’d be put off the Okatsune ones just because the way the handles are riveted to the blades. I’ve got some of their snips and they’re ok but I also upgraded to Niwaki ones when I could afford.

In other news I bought a 10x8 Rhino greenhouse on eBay yesterday... buyer dismantles. Please don’t rain on Monday.

It will, even if the forecast says otherwise, currently light showers.

I don't get the obsession with all blades Japanese, Felco or Bahco are good enough for those of us who do this shite for money.

^this.
I’ll say that silky saws are worth the extra money for pruning work but I have a bahco pull saw which is fine for rougher jobs.
I’ve never had bahco secateurs as my felcos lasted my whole tree career but I know a lot of guys use them as they work great and as long as you get a year out of them before you lose/break them they’re cheap enough to be considered disposable.

I guess the joy of gardening for fun is like pissing around with bikes. Telling yourself you need njs lock ring spanner for your shoreditch poodle is the same as buying one of those insanely expensive golden Japanese shovels just to occasionally plant some busy lizzies from b&q.

*my dad has that shovel, he loves it

After this weekend, I have an aching back and four builders' bags full of well riddled topsoil.

I've filled a raised bed with two bagfulls, but I'm not sure what to do with the rest.

Can I use it to level out my currently muddy and overgrown mess of a lawn?

What time of year does that need to happen?

I have the Okatsune ones, absolutely lovely!

Has anyone seen this irl as a way to make a paved raised patio?

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/192487764204

I assume it's just a case of making sure you fit tiles that are strong enough?

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Interesting. Works in the typical office floor but that has a more solid base than the typical garden. I'd be worried about the 'plots' sinking or tipping.

I wouldn't be in the slightest worried, I would just wait the required 5 minutes until it collapsed and then do the job properly. It might work over concrete or the astroturf pictured, but would echo horribly. A solution to a non-existent problem.

Surely the void becomes a rodentarium, apart from after Summer thunderstorms when you end up with a pervasive fetid organic soup.

I have those under my shed. It was a temporary solution while I was having the fence done where it used to stand. I put some old skip salvaged pavers down, used plastic things like those with a wooden frame made from joists on top to get the whole thing level then rebuilt a shed on it.

Like I say, temporary, not shifted, been about 4 years now. Only a shed though so not something you’d walk on everyday. Just a few bikes, petrol mower, workbench. Foxes get under there and the vixen leaves her cubs under there while she goes for food so that’s worth considering, they keep the mice and rats out but you’re re essentially building a safe haven for them to rest in.

I smashed one of those once when a small log bounced out the tree I was working like a pinball. Log wasn’t much bigger than a beer can but managed to do serious damage. Can’t fix it easily like a regular cracked slab.
Can’t take a wheelbarrow over it either supposedly.
Also, considering the amount of time I’ve spent removing plastic from peoples gardens and my allotment the last thing I’d want to do is add dozens of pieces of it.

Is there a specific need for a raised patio with drainage in your situation?

First instinct is that doesn’t look safe, second is how to finish it because you can’t mortar or do a flush edge/step. It would make a nice home for rats though.

@ColinTheBald I get what you’re saying about Japanese blades but there’s an undeniable pleasure in using nice tools. My garage has two sets of tools, stuff from yonks ago working on site when they’d get lost, pinched or broken and my good shit that stays locked up. I stopped buying Knippex snips pretty quick after repeatedly leaving them in false ceilings.

Long stressful day on Monday dismantling and transporting that greenhouse with my retired arthritic Dad, the only consolation being I’m £1500 up on the deal if bought new.

Those raised floors come second only to Indian sandstone in my ‘Most Hated Landscaping Materials’ list. Breaks as soon as you look at it, wear grooves in the surface just sweeping with a broom, as slippery as old decking in the wet and impossible to clean. Convinced rich folk spec it just to make the lives of anyone working on the property difficult.
If you combined the two I’d prob just refuse to work on your garden!

An Italian limestone picture to stop your whingeing!

Sandstone has its plus side, properly laid on a continuous bed of mortar it is fairly robust, it is cheaper than decent slabs (which people won't pay for) and it is a nice little earner!

@inchpincher, I like nice things as much as the next man and completely understand the pleasure of owning them, I just doubt that Japanese secateurs offer any advantage.

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.....and just to make you explode in impotent rage (the decking conceals a 6' drop, which is why it's there).

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6' drop

Pre-dug graves? Very gangster.

lol

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Good thoughts.

I wasn't considering it for us personally - I was idly thinking about how to build a raised paved raised patio, googled and saw these. Was a bit unsure about strength, but thought it was a good way of not having to move a fucktonne of rubble to raise the ground height and ensure proper damp proofing adjoining the house.

I'm not sure I'm convinced about the risk of sinking. You'd obviously have a solid footing underneath - as you would with anything. The question then is if you have to make 25 footings or something is it actually saving time?

In terms of rats, curious as to why is this a greater issue than with wood decking? Or is it equally an issue there too - which would be good to know as there's a bit of the garden we'll add a deck to... eventually.

You'd obviously have a solid footing underneath - as you would with anything.

Tell that to the lazy shortcutting people that built my patio

In terms of rats, curious as to why is this a greater issue than with wood decking?

Are rats in the garden a problem? I assume they are around but as long as they can't get in the kitchen I'm not too bothered.

Continuous bed of mortar is the key.. I’ve seen a pic of the aftermath of someone running a small, tracked cherry picker over a sandstone patio without laying down ground protection boards . Slabs were impossibly thin and laid scumbag-style with just a blob in the corners and not even any sand. Needless to say it reduced the whole thing to dust. Why he didn’t stop at the first slab instead of just ploughing thru the whole patio I don’t know.

If I ever have my own garden all materials will be chosen to withstand the stupidity of myself and any other mattock-swinging fool that goes near it.

It’s not that I don’t like nice/innovative landscaping it’s just that the snazzy stuff often feels like style over substance. I’ve worked on thousands of gardens and it seems the higher the price tag the more fragile it seems to be.

Putting together a list of things that might actually grow in our garden - overhung by a massive Oak & quite shady (but dry under the tree). Can I have suggestions for your favorite shade loving plants please?

There are some Hellebores in the bed just under our massive oak tree, seem to do quite well, come out quite early if I remember. Not a gardener though....

A bed of mixed sizes and colours of hostas would do the job very nicely, just be prepared for 'Slug Wars: Invasion of the Damned'.

Chives.

May seem random, but they're attractive and have good interest throughout the seasons.