I hate

I'd imagine him posting an image of forest floor with "autumn is the time of year that reminds us of lifes tendency toward death and decay" in bright lettering

I still say ‘burgled’

As opposed to?

burglarized?

I hate it when the term robbed or robbery is used when ether theft or burglary has occurred with no violence used or threatened to do the deed.

I hate it when I get accused of stealing my own bike by police

I tell you who can fuck off - Audible. £8 a month and you’re limited to one podcast/Audiobook.

If you’re a loner like me, that lasts no time at all.

This ^

Thin end of the inevitable ‘burglarizationalized’ wedge imo

Librivox?

(I don’t use it myself I’m just a sucker for cool-sounding portmanteau words)

I’m sure there are some good books on there but nothing new that I’m particularly keen to read.

And the website is shit.

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burglarizationalized

Sounds like a Bush-ism, which immediately elevates it to win

buying light bulbs

When people get angry with you because of poor phone reception.

Talking on the phone.

People

Parklife

I had a work call where the person on the other end was getting annoyed at me because of the poor phone connection and kept asking if I was moving around my flat or had a bad spot at my desk. I told them I was on WiFi calling so not sure if it was my end. He told me had full bars so couldn’t be his end and was adamant that the fact he was on a train had nothing to do with it.

the correct conversation to have when you have bad call reception

A: "you're cutting in and out, can't hear you"
B: "I can't hear you, you're cutting out
A & B: "I'll call you later" *hang up*

I don't get angry at people because the phone call makes it hard to hear them, I rage when they acknowledge it then try to carry on a conversation involving questions requiring a back and forth and then act surprised when the conversation isn't working.

my mum is a master at this on and off the phone, she needs hearing aids but will still try to initiate a conversation with me from another room when I'm visiting her by shouting something and without fail when I reply back will shout "I can't hear you I havent got my hearing aids in".

Life

Steady there. You ok?

Just hang up the second time it drops.
Ain’t nobody got time for that shit

Sorry, that was dangerously vague. General life shit is making me unhappy about everything in life right now. Typically it starts with money worries and relationships, now nothing seems much fun at all.

Hang in there, talk to people on here. Plenty to get people down right now and there’s a lot of shit about but try and stay positive (trying not to underestimate your situation or judge.)

Santander ad with Ant & Dec.
Pair of cnuts!