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  • my uncle (by marriage not blood) was the tightest arsehole you could ever meet, when i was about 10 i sold him my NES and games because I was getting a mega drive and he was too tight to buy my cousins a new console. he paid me a tenner at a time every time i saw him until there was about £40 owing and the cunt magically never had any money on him or would say "well i buy you sweets sometimes don't i" when i told him he owed me money.

    anyways he like a ramble (because walking = free) and once while walking along a canal with my two young cousins one of them needed a piss so stepped off the path and found a carrier bag full of rolled up bank notes easily worth a couple of grand.

    the kids can't believe their luck. all the shit they've been told they could never afford is actually in reach, but the dad insists they hand it into the police and takes it off them.

    apparently "handing it into the police" means spending the entire lot down the pub over the next couple of months, not one penny went into the household nor did my cousins even get a treat out of it.

  • Fuck. You're telling me my Dad drank that lady's money, cloned her bankcard and bought his fancy lady stockings aren't you?

  • There's a murder ballad in that. :)

  • bought his fancy lady stockings aren't you?

    Do you mean he bought stockings for his fancy lady, or that the fancy lady stockings were his?

    No judgement either way, obvs (assuming the fancy lady is your ma).

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