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  • Howard: I'd like to buy this house please for £1.xM
    EA: Sure, offer accepted
    Vendor: BTW it's been badly affected by subsidence and underpinned but I'm only telling you now that you've incurred costs
    Howard: You need to make an allowance for that - buildings insurance is £1,200 year
    EA: £3k or we offer it to another interested party / buyer
    Howard: We'll think about it runs off to find another house, finds house, makes offer, offer accepted
    EA: What do you think
    Howard: Fuck you
    EA: they will go to the other buyer
    Howard: OK hun, also: fuck you
    EA: Howard, turns out the other buyer won't be qualified until January and surprise, vendor doesn't want an empty period property over winter. What would it take, £10k?
    Howard: £100k

  • Better than any drama on Radio 4.

    Also. Be sure to wave to the EA and vendor once they have gotten into the sea, where they truly belong.

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