I hate

Exactly the same here but additionally hampered by a hearing deficiency in the frequency range of the female voice. I have had ear infection problems and few hearing tests that all show this deficit but also very acute hearing in other ranges. When tired I get snappy if I have to keep saying “sorry/what/ or please make sure you are looking at me when talking to me”. There have been a number or occasions when I am told I have been told something. Probably I had just assumed that if what I was hearing being mumbled in another room over other noises had been important the speaker would have ensured I had actually heard an understood the message.

As a kid we had a rule in our house that we only shouted between rooms in the event of extreme danger, otherwise walk to the person you wish to talk to. This was as serious a rule as don’t call the living room a “lounge” or hold your knife like a pen.

I’ve successfully established the knife and lounge rule, but the shouting has not been as easy to implement.

Those pop up banner ticker things on websites 'Someone in Chester just bought.......insert thing you were looking at'

No they fucking didn't, you're just using my location data you fucks. Fuck off....

Being injured and seeing messages about group rides going up.
also being injured and having to need help doing stuff. Simple stuff moving across the room holding a cup of tea.

My partner has the same, super acute hearing but can't make out what people are saying in noisy places.

I got my ears (well hearing, how do you test ears?;) tested, they are fine. So when I don't hear people it's a case of my brain going "meh, attention somewhere else"

I am massively reassured that I am not the only person who yells 'what' if there is extraneous noise, my head is in a cupboard, the radio is on in front of me, you are talking behind me, the cooker hood is noisy or whatever permutations of the above or similar.

I am basically rude, but this is not part of that rudeness. I don't suffer from this problem, but Mrs B does, she's the one being yelled at.

My (soon to be ex) wife is an enthusiastic user of the Doppler effect. She'll start talking to me then turn and walk into another room still talking. Usually whilst I'm standing next to a rumbling kettle or cooker hood.

With mine (the ex, not the current), any lack of response when those sort of "conversations" happened was most often interpreted as full understanding, and tacit agreement of whatever terms were being proposed.

To add a bit more excitement, the basis of the politeadultconversation was something wrong that I had said or done in a dream that she had had.

Mosquitos, for obvious reasons. Not helped by the fact that we live a stones throw away from park that doubles as the set of Apocalypse Now in this humid weather complete with stagnant bog.

Is there any reliable repellant tech that doesn't require spraying poison in the air / rubbing yourself down with cat's piss / setting your house on fire?

buzzy, bitey little cunts.

I like the smell of citronella

This, I find Trumper’s GFT cologne has a hefty dose of citronella which helps ward off the bitey cunts but smells better than straight up insect repellents.

have one for outdoors - doesn't citronella require a burner?

something that actually merks the fuckers would be a preferred option.

What was this thing about making female mosquitos sterile, and wiping them out. I think I'm for it.

That needs reading in context.

Better keep it where it is then.
Still a bit dodgy ethically, I've also heard that the fuckers do pollinate

But edited for clarity

angry upvote

Also up for wasp annihilation, probably bad for the planet.

to be fair, the small army of spiders that have take up residence in nearly every corner of the house are more than doing their part to make a dent in the mozzlamic state.

i ruddy love spiders. top blokes.

home made mozzie traps do work ok and reduce the numbers but never gets them 100%
https://www.instructables.com/id/Plastic-Bottle-Mosquito-Trap/

Bug zapper? Hummy and bright though. But perfect for creating that kebab shop look at home.

Skin So Soft though. Smells nice, softens skin natch, and personally tested against Mexican and Texan mosquitoes of an unusual size.

Yes, I have a network of spiders at work doing the same job.

This confused me so much when I went kayaking in Scotland years ago. We were standing round ready to get started and one of the other kayakers (a man not obviously concerned about personal grooming) held a bottle out to me and said ‘skin so soft?’ several times. I couldn’t tell if he was paying me a compliment or making some skincare recommendations. Anyway, they seem to swear by it in the Highlands

I hear it works great for Scottish midges but not so brilliant for foreign mozzies.

Dunno about South London ones.

top blokes

And burds. Let's be inclusive now.

My skin is so soft whenever I go out in "summer" as a bite from anything seems to end up massive and itchy for over a week.