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snottyotter
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i was a cub scout for 4 years. one year when we were camping near a lake, i was asked to find "a long weight". Eager to please, i spent the next 2 days trying to track it down, thinking, as you would as a thick as pigshit 10 year old, that it was something to do with canoes and boats and shit.
when some kind christian soul told me i'd been taken for a cunt and the entire troop was in on it, i summarily picked up a nearby machete and gutted every single last fucking one of them and bathed in their delicious ichor*.
*called my mum in tears and demanded she fetch me immediately because the other boys were being mean.
cfsb.
plot twist: our scout master was had up on kiddy fiddling charges long after i'd packed it in.