Jokes / Joke du jour!

Some recent updates for the dictionary in 2020

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
   
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
   
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
   
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
   
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
   
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
   
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
   
8. Gargoyle 👎, olive-flavoured mouthwash.
   
9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
   
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
    
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
    
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
    proctologists.
    
13. Pokemon 👎, a Rastafarian proctologist.
    
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
    
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
    
17. No one(n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
    
18. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
    
19. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
    
20. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
    
21. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease
    
22. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
    
23. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
    
24. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
    
25. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
    
26. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.