Tales from the school yard.

Mr Williams, history teacher, had a false glass eye

What was it really made from?

Science labs were always fun, we once had to (I'm paraphrasing here) test the resistance of different metal wires.
By hooking them up to a battery.
Thin guage wire melted, thicker stuff got hot, some didn't react much at all.
So we hooked 6 batteries up to see if the increased voltage would help. And then almost burnt the place down by trying to burn ruse words into the wooden desks.

We also used to nick the rubber hoses for Bunsen burners to use in bongs.

Not a particularly shocking story. About 14, got really into skateboarding and it used to blow my mind every day that I went to the same school that Tom Penny used to. We once asked our headmaster "Sir, do you remember a kid called Tom Penny?"

"The name rings a bell, I think"
"He looked a bit like this", a friend pointing to the Flip deck with a portrait of Tom's face on it.
"Yes, that's him," replied headteacher, "What is he up to these days?"

I don't know if he was joking, but it was quite funny.

Most famous alumni? Go!

Laurence Llewellyn Bowen
Half of the chemical brothers
Jude Law
Jay Kay

In order of significance.

EDIT: With hesitant mentions to those who are famous because of their parents. Tim Roth's son Jack and some or all of the Geldof kids.

Mr Tumble went to my school apparently, knew he was from Reading but didn't know that.

Phil Babb (Liverpool, Sunderland, Ireland, etc.) was in my class. My dad didn't have much joy trying to teach him French.

Martin Amis
Half of Pink Floyd
Half of Groove Armada
Storm Thorgerson
Dave Lewis (Tesco CEO)

Secondary school:-

Rowan Robertson (joined Dio aged 17)

What was it really made from?

Ha! Yes! I know what I meant, I think

Guy Fawks

No one famous from Basildon
Dave Gahan I suppose, but went to a different school.

Couple of failed footballers from my school, but that's probably about it.

Chris Bonnington, Roger Bannister, Dirk Bogarde, Will Self and, most importantly of all, Hugh Dennis.

The year or two above me were a talented bunch of bastards too. Alex Garland, Thomas Adès, China Miéville and Nick Harkaway (that's his nom de plume anyway, he was plain old Nick Cornwall when I knew him, but then noms de plume run in the family). Tristram Hunt was in the year below.

I try to forget about the fact Paul Dacre went there too.

Alex Garland

Used to enjoy his - pre fame? - bantz with Digitiser on C4 teletext.

Also my mate Ben, I was in Cardiff and saw a poster of his head the size of a building advertising a gig so I count him as famous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsVgJ912Zcs

All this nostalgia makes me want to stand up and belt out the school song

Pueri Alleynienses, quotquot annos quotquot menses
Fertur principum memoria,
Vivit Fundatoris nomen, unicae virtutis omen
Detur soli Deo Gloria.

(Boys of Alleyn, may our forefathers' memory
Endure through as many years and as many months as there may be,
The Founder's name lives on, a promise of unparalleled virtue to come,
Glory be given to God alone.)

attaching bunsen burners to water taps to create an almost invisible jet of water that could go 30 feet.

Yes! It always baffled me that whoever designed the fittings for science labs thought it was fine to have the same fitting on both gas and water taps, clearly they didn't go to the same sort of schools we did...

Oh, terrible. And the water tap people, how could they think of enabling juvenile delinquency by promoting the use of flexible rubber piping? And the automotive industry! And washing machine manufacturers! OMG TH1NK OF THE CHIIIIIIILDRENNNNN!1!1!

I try to forget about the fact Paul Dacre went there too.

Mine created Kate Hoey. Or maybe she was carved by demons from a block of the blackest evil and sent there. I'm not sure on the timeline.

Wow. And I thought Jay Kay was bad enough.

If there was any justice in the world, this guy would be our most famous pupil. Physicist, war hero and keen amateur magician.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reginald_Victor_Jones

At Jones's urging, Winston Churchill ordered up an RAF search aircraft on the night of 21 June 1940, and the aircraft found the Knickebein radio signals in the frequency range which Jones had predicted. With this knowledge, the British were able to build jammers whose effect was to "bend" the Knickebein beams so that German bombers spent months scattering their bomb loads over the British countryside.

Mine begat Ken Clarke, Ed Balls, Geoff Hoon, Piers Merchant and James Morris, among others (before I got there).

Off to the politics thread with me then...

Pre-fame, I'd guess. Didn't know him that well at school. He was a footballist who hung out with the AmDram posse. I was a boatie muso. I did see an early 'experimental' play he co-wrote. All I can say is he was keeping his talents well hidden at that time.

Fairly sure I've seen him a couple of times at festivals, so fame confirmed

We made Di-Nitro-Toluene (DNT) in chemistry once, no idea why. It's a precurser to tri-nitro-toluene (TNT). Our teacher announced that we wouldn't be able to get it there (I think you just had to massively boil it, possibly under pressure, to get there).

We gave it a bash anyway - he eventually raised an eyebrow and told us to stop when we had four or five bunsens aimed at a test tube full of the stuff.

Yeah I've listened to Benjamin Francis Leftwich, quite enjoy his music

Kelly Macdonald is about the only person of note to have attended my school.

Wikipedia mentions some footballers, rugby players and musicians but I’ve never ‘erd of them.