Awkward Moments

The fixie skidder anthem

tried to buy him a drink to say sorry.

How did things pan out?

it's a stupid rehash of an old song mostly sung by kids in playgrounds.
& in the UK DBS checks are police background checks for when you have to work with vulnerable people so they check things like sex offender register and history of previous crimes.

[starts at 1:49]
https://youtu.be/xbRPENFOiN0?t=109

That reminds me of a couple:

Standing next to each other at a bar Gf puts her hands in what she though was my jeans back pocket and gave my bum a squeeze. Not my bum, and the girl who's bump got squeezed was very upset. Strange thing is we had the same colour jeans and top.

Thanks. Excellent source.

I remember Harris telling me once of a bathing experience he had at
Boulogne. He was swimming about there near the beach, when he felt
himself suddenly seized by the neck from behind, and forcibly plunged
under water. He struggled violently, but whoever had got hold of him
seemed to be a perfect Hercules in strength, and all his efforts to
escape were unavailing. He had given up kicking, and was trying to
turn his thoughts upon solemn things, when his captor released him.

He regained his feet, and looked round for his would-be murderer. The
assassin was standing close by him, laughing heartily, but the moment
he caught sight of Harris’s face, as it emerged from the water, he
started back and seemed quite concerned.

“I really beg your pardon,” he stammered confusedly, “but I took you
for a friend of mine!”

Harris thought it was lucky for him the man had not mistaken him for a
relation, or he would probably have been drowned outright.

http://www.authorama.com/three-men-in-a-boat-15.html

https://youtu.be/6xrS1N8Vfpc

Met one of the directors in my new company for the first time yesterday.

Whilst I was having a piss.

He insisted on introducing himself and asking me all sorts of things.

Thankfully didn't want a hand shake.

Bet you're regretting not enrolling on that penis origami course now aren't you?

Do your balls hang low is my go-to song when I'm hauling rope in the mountains. Never fails to get a chuckle from the mountain guides.

hauling rope in the mountains

Euph?

Is that the same as laying cable?

quite the opposite. he's a cross border poop smuggler for wealthy people who want to add genetically superior faeces to their bowels to improve their biomes.

Spice melange?

Just read all 10 pages, brilliant

Shared my screen to demonstrate a few things with a customer earlier. During the call they asked me if I wanted to try Google Jamboard out to see whether I could use it in a session I'm hosting tomorrow.

I opened Google Jamboard while my screen was shared, thinking that I had never used it before.

Lo and behold, 2019 me had sketched a huge, hairy and spurting cock and balls and forgotten about it.

Epic win >>>>>>>>>>

Hahahhahaha

My bad. It was 2020 me who is a wrongun

1 Attachment

🤣🤣 Epic win

Was it meatspin I set your homepage to and then you didn't use your laptop for ages until you had a meeting?

Hahaha

This is amazing. How did the customer react?

Was it meatspin I set your homepage to and then you didn't use your laptop for ages until you had a meeting?

That was over ten years ago and Eva still mentions the time there was gay porn on my laptop at work.

This is amazing. How did the customer react?

Well. Thankfully.

I'm 40. Maybe by the time I'm 50 I'll grow out of doodling knobs.