Black Rainbow Project needs your help!

Ok, I'm afraid I'm going to post another tldr post.

Maybe you consider yourself morally superior to me Pedrito... Because you would never do this, and never do that?
You want me to 'grow up and run a proper business'.
You think I 'shouldn't have asked for money'.
You think nothing 'qualifies' me for it.
You think it's 'cheeky' of me to ask.
You think I showed an 'outright refusal' to consider kickstarter.
You think I'm taking the 'lazy/easy' way.
You think I haven't 'costed anything'.
You think I have 'no idea' how far the amount I was hoping to reach will get me.
You think I don't have a 'plan', and if I knew all that I could just go straight to kickstarter with that number.
You think I am 'frivolously spunking peoples money up the wall'.
You imply that my gofundme is a failure because this thread has 10k plus views, and only 49 donations...and has only got me to '25% of my target in 6 months'...and 'the totals don't lie'.
You've used words like 'soliciting', 'exploiting', 'taken advantage of'.

A big part of 'growing up' for me over the last year has meant admitting not only to others, but to myself that sometimes I need help.
Part of my fucked up self came from the fact that I would never ask for help, and never accept it when offered. I would tell myself I can handle things on my own.
Part of this 'handling things on my own' involved cutting myself, repeatedly. Out of self hatred and frustration, to derail my brain from whatever was causing me to feel those things.
Just recently things came very close to reaching a breaking point, where I nearly lost everything that matters to me, and it was only thanks to the belief, support, and willingness to give me another chance, of someone close to me, that finally made me realise that I needed help, because I couldn't sort myself out on my own.
And that is just what I will be doing. Seeking professional help for something I can't fix alone.
The same goes for BRP... I realised that I couldn't make it work on my own either. I needed to ask for help. And that is just what I did here. No matter what you may think, I don't find it 'easy' to do so. I didn't do it because I was too 'lazy' to try conventional methods. Believe me, I tried.
Loans, no. Government grants, no. Etc

Believe it or not, I have a plan, I did my costing, I knew how far the 6 grand would get me.
But what you don't seem to realise is that it was never intended to get me from nothing, to a finished company. It was the first stage in taking BRP in the right direction.
How do you think I can launch a successful kickstarter with no finished bags to show? How do you think I can make finished bags without first completing and testing the prototypes? How do you think I can make the prototypes without the machines to sew them on? How do you think I can install the machines without the tables and workshop to fit them into?

You see my gofundme as a failure, because only a tiny fraction of the people who read this thread donated anything.
Well to you, my bottle may still be three quarters empty... But to me, its one quarter full...and I haven't spilled a drop!
I am eternally grateful to every single person who donated. Whether it was £5, or £100.
Many of these people I don't know any more than I know you. Some were completely anonymous donations. But every single one is just as appreciated as the next.
You think I spunked their money up the wall. In a way you're right. I spunked it up the wall, and across the floor. Because it is thanks to the generosity of these people that I was able to build my workbenches.
It is thanks to people buying my tee shirts and hoodies that I was able to pay for the first pieces of custom hardware.
I haven't stopped working towards my goal since before I even started the gofundme, and I won't stop working towards it even if it never gets another donation. I will keep working, saving, selling, designing, and doing everything I can to get BRP back in business.

I'm not trying to exploit anyone, take advantage of anyone, or use my 'standing' on here. Most of the people on this forum have no idea who I am anymore or what I have done.

I asked for help because I need it... It really is that simple.
If that irritates you, makes you uncomfortable or offends you, then I'm sorry, but that is your problem. I'm not here to convince you that BRP is a 'worthy cause'.. Only you can decide that. I'm not claiming that I 'qualify' for it any more than anyone else. I'm not demanding anything, or telling people to donate to me instead of anyone else... I'm simply asking for help from a community I have tried my best to support whenever I could.

I really don't want to devote any more time to this discussion than I already have.
At the end of the day, if anyone would like to donate, it is truly appreciated, and If you don't, for whatever reason, then don't. No hard feelings. Obviously I would prefer you not to use the thread to justify your reasons... But it is a forum after all, so if you feel it's necessary, go ahead.

All the best.
Scott