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I'm not aware of an actually waterproof fabric that isn't plastic.
I guess other than ventile. Get some custom ventile shorts like a total lunatic.
https://www.weatherwisewear.co.uk/product-page/vatersay-shortsReckon these guys would make you a pair without pockets if you asked nicely.
Ideally actually waterproof, or at least a good level of water resistance.