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USB-powered desk fans
tl;dr you're over thinking it. Any fan will be fine.
We had a load of these when our aircon went out one summer:
Pretty sure they are (or were) the cheapest as well as being on Prime. In terms of performance, they work fine. I still use one at home in our bedroom every now and then. Because they're plastic and cheap they weigh nothing so can be creatively positioned - eg hung over lever arch files or the top corner of a monitor.
The only negative is that depending on the surface and angle of the fan they can "walk". Those of us affected solved this by using bluetac, wedging it, or just moving it back every so often.
If the heat is a real issue you can make a mini swamp fan. The amount of air flow is decreased, but the air is cooler.
It looks like there is a two pack, so depending on the number of spare ports you could have one for your face and one for your balls.
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hugo7
@SwissChap
Anyone got a specific recommendation for one of those small USB-powered desk fans? There's obviously tons on Amazon and the like, but it's a bit hard to decide which one might not be complete shit.