Crap 'Buzzwords'

Where does talking stop and liaising begin?

Probably in a world where everyone relies on email because a) human interaction, whut? and b) everyone wants it in writing so they can cover their arse.

“Soup to nuts”
Haven’t heard it in a while, but some purple faced old gammon in tweed broke it out the other day. I know the origins of the phrase, but it always sounds like some kind of creepy fetish shit.

'Preekend'.

Since when did team meetings, staff meetings and company meetings become called "all hands"...?

When I hear that I always think "...to the lifeboats! Abandon ship!"

see: Town Hall.

Where I work the latest neologism is 'direction of travel'.

I will check in with the senior stakeholders and let you all know our direction of travel

I think it's replacing 'steer', as in:

I will check in with the senior stakeholders and let you all know their steer

As that wasn't vague enough. 'Steer' at least implies someone is holding a metaphorical wheel.

That does have a specific meaning if you are American though:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Town_hall_meeting

I've just been asked if there's anything I'd like to "stoplight" in the team newsletter.
It's put me in mind of this:

LadyLiz had an all hands about their use of ‘out-of-home digital furniture’ today...

Is that a digital display on a bus stop or train station?

^ you are correct squire
Was in reference to the vid screens up the escalators in the tube to be specific.

‘Digital maturity’

'Thumb stopping content'

Someone in one of my meetings just said "If this is what we were expecting then I am not surprised, but if this is not what we were expecting then I really am"

Fucking oxygen thief, get out.

I just found out this champ gets £300k a year

I can't. My brain can't fix this.

Just read a job ad:

"You use words to stage meaningful connections between people."

I need a new career. But I'm too old.

"If this is what we were expecting then I am not surprised, but if this is not what we were expecting then I really am"

There is only one possible response...

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Wise words.
I thought that fragment of ancient manuscript had been lost.

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

FastCompany with a quick primer on how to become superficial sociopath:

https://www.fastcompany.com/90302108/7-expressions-to-avoid-if-you-want-to-sound-emotionally-intelligent

Jesus Christ, they seem to think that ideally, one should be an android...

FastCompany with a quick primer on how to become superficial sociopath:

https://www.fastcompany.com/90302108/7-e­xpressions-to-avoid-if-you-want-to-sound­-emotionally-intelligent

Oh dear.
This reads like my conversational greatest hits.

"open the kimono"

To confess and reveal the ugly truth about your product or project to a wider audience.