Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

To be fair you get a lot for your money:

Ingredients: Sonically tuned water, rosewater, grain alcohol, sea salt, colloidal silver, therapeutic grade oils of: rosemary, juniper and lavender; a unique and complex blend of gem elixirs, including but not limited to: black tourmaline, lapis lazuli, ruby, labradorite, bloodstone, aqua aura, black onyx, garnet, pyrite and nuummite; reiki, sound waves, moonlight, love, reiki charged crystals

Also, I think a 'psychic vampire' is anyone you find draining. And they might get the message if you keep spraying them with water when they approach you.