Jokes / Joke du jour!

Quite possibly

Hope it doesn't Staine my comedy credentials.....

I'm not sure whether to fist bump you or face palm. Either way, I <3 you Tim!

Not only is there a Staine, but the Staine’s massive.

Newsflash......

Sad news my local karate centre is in financial trouble
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Apparently a couple of instructors are for the chop

Talking of which......

My local string quartet has just been done for accounting irregularities.
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Apparently at least one of them has been on the fiddle

With Britain about to leave the EU, how much space is going to be freed up?

About 1GB.

ba-dum tsssssh

I held a surprise bukkake party for my wife last night.
Everyone came.
You should've seen her face.

That is very very good.

Not usually a fan of crude jokes, but did do a laugh at that

It definitely hit the mark

Not really the kind of thing I'd expect to come across on this forum.

She's a keeper, we'll stick together.

She’s got spunk

By the bucketful.

I see men are all over this sort of crass joke.

Got something in your eye?

I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said “Have a good day, son.”

“Don’t call me son,” I said. “You’re not my dad.”

He scratched his head. “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”

Just found where you got these from, some of them are pretty good.

Just found where you got these from

where, where?

I agree. I got sent them this morning.

https://twitter.com/ShitJokes
Although I found that through a poke click bait article through Facebook.

Some decent ones there!

My neighbor came at me really aggressively, asking if I knew anything about her underwear disappearing from her clothes line.

I can tell you I nearly shit her pants.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying? "Are you having a crisis?"

lol

I had a pretty rough Cystoscopy yesterday... they needed to show a little more RESPECT to my urethra frankly

When I had my prostate check I asked the doctor if it was true it could be sexually arousing.

"You're not bad looking" she said "But I'm a professional".