This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Ahahahaha. TIL.

Bears got a great team this year. They're gonna go all the way.

Phenomenal tailwind home tonight. Turned into a crosswind just as I was passing a colossal bonfire, which must have been close to the height of a two storey house. Smoke, ash and ember all over the shop. Had to try and bat the embers away from my high performance commuting Lycra.

I also enjoyed the epic tailwind and love my specialist, upmarket commuting lycra so much I'm going to wear it to a posh West end restaurant for dinner.

Tailwind? Jesus. Headwind turned rain into stinging hail-like pain, had to pedal on downhills or would have been blustered to standstill. Hardest ride home for months. Comprehensively knackered now.

To the guy on the black Genesis with gold PDW sparrow cages at the top of Stamford Hill yesterday morning.

I rode up the hill where you were already waiting at the lights at the top. The lights changed and we both set off through the short but tricky 3ish-lane section where the kerb then pops out to force you into the traffic. I stayed behind you so as not to put either of us in a difficult situation, patiently waiting to pass you when conditions were clear. It will have been clear to you shortly after our encounter that sitting on your wheel would have offered me no benefit.

Your rig looked nicely thought out so I mistook your for a rider who had reached cycling maturity. However, when you looked over your shoulder and saw me you then brake checked me. Then you elaborately gestured that I should pass you. I did so with a (forced) friendly good morning as I don't really like confrontation. However, having given it some thought I am now venting my annoyance here.

Buck up your ideas sunshine, we're all only trying to get to work.

He was undoubtedly just a bit winded from climbing Stamford Hill just before that. Mont Ventoux is as nothing against it.

Had to go drop a tool roll off to the mechanic at the shop, and out the window this happened...

After I took the photo even more appeared. No idea what kinda preteen critical mass was going on in Swindon today.

1 Attachment

bikestormz, swindon mandem?

No idea, but I’d happily see it more often. A huge number wheelied down to there, and then the majority observed road traffic laws, which was the biggest shock. They all waited patiently for the red light to turn green.

Probably staging a die-in for their mate who was grounded.

Anyone who does a brake check is prime candidate for a d-lock around the head. It’s a cunt’s trick and should be treated as such.

Who gets in to an argument with skully about lycra? Well, it's funny you should ask that. Off the top of my head I can recall Bernard Hinault, dancer Wayne Sleep, Mr Motivator, the cast of West End smash hit musical Cats, three of the Chippendales, a transexual prostitute called Rusty, the Suffolk branch of the Salvation Army (don't ask), Olivia Newton John on the set of Grease, Andy Serkis while doing the motion-capture element in his role as Gollum, and more than one or two hen parties.

Another one for the file.

The curse of fresh bar tape

This is definitely a real thing

🎼 maybe 🎶 if you 🎶 can't keep 🎶 from wobbling 🎶across 🎶 my path 🎶 then 🎶 track stands 🎶 are not 🎶 for yooooou? [airhorn solo]

I mistook your for a rider who had reached cycling maturity.

This is me every time I spot @amey on Q1.

Nice mild morning, bit greasy on cs7 but not too busy until Stockwell otherwise a nice morning to cycle in

To the cabbie on Moorgate who needlessly tailgated me - funny how you looked all sheepish when I pointed out my camera recording you. Cockwomble.

If I can punch your car, you're passing too close.

They're puddles, people. It's not frickin lava!

What a glorious commute.
I was entering the Swiss Cottage one way system heading South moving into lane to approach Avenue Road when Cock Boy behind me in some sort of AMG Mercedes momentarily falls under the mistaken belief that this congested 20mph zone is in fact the first corner of an F1 race and he sees the gap. Roaaaaarrrrrrrr he moves into position on the outside lane must be hitting at least 60 within 3 seconds , bear in mind there are cars everywhere. I see an Uber driver right in front of me indicate to pull out. "Oh yes here we go" I think to myself and lo-and-behold- he pulls straight into his lane. Fuck face had nowhere to go, he rams into the curb destroys his wheel, thankfully scrubbing most of his speed so by the time of impact he was probably only going around 20. Bumper is on the floor. Luckily his window was down so before he had a chance to realise he is in fact in London during the rush hour and not in the Bahrain GP, I left him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his actions before going about my way with a huge smile on my face.

I can only dream i'll get to witness this kind of comeuppance some day. I'd still be riding around him in circles pointing and laughing.

I attract these idiots. It really was brilliant. I hope he is off the road for a while and the damage is costly. But more importantly, that he learns his lesson and thinks twice before pulling a manoeuvre like that again, something tells me not though.

Yeah but if I can avoid getting my shoes and feet wet, why not do that?

There's also another point - some of those 'puddles' can hide very nasty potholes. Nothing worse than not seeing what the road surface is like, and suddenly getting a super hard knock because you went straight over that one hole they haven't fixed in five years. Nah thanks, I'll go where I can see what the road is like.

did you hang about to give a witness statement to the police?

Much satisfy. Hope it was only his car damaged. Classic getinfrontitis.