I hate

Generally I'd agree, but I washed a Howies merino shirt once and it shrank so much it was unwearable. An expensive lesson that.

She Who Must Be Obeyed washes stuff, but only expensive stuff, until it fits either her at 47kg or a hamster. I am 78kg, not precisely race weight. New shirts for me are 'borrowed' until I forgot I bought them.

I wear merino every day so there's no way I'd bother with hand washing and I never had any issues on any of my clothes in more than 10 years. Perhaps this one day the wrong program was selected? I never 0wned any Howies stuff but all my Rapha / Smartwool / Icebreaker / John Smedley etc so far has kept shape.

I've not had any issues with machine washing merino otherwise, it was just this one Howies top, which, after reading their webpage, was very clearly stated as hand wash only. Like you, I've always ignored instructions like this and it's never been an issue.

I've voted with my wallet.

@Lolo go on then. How do you dry merino/other wool items? I find that this is where shrinkage occurs.

I've shrink a couple of PX socks and a jersey in my time. Other merino stuff washes fine at 30. Let's move on with our lives.

Reshape when damp, dry outdoors on a line.

Smedley mill recommended use the hand wash setting on the machine with baby shampoo.

No shrinkage in any of my stuff over the last 20+ years

A fair amount of water should have drained in the machine, even after a low spin. I put some of the garments flat (expensive jumpers) on the rack, ever so slightly stretched so they keep their shape. The rest goes like anything else on the lines or even on a hanger. If you hand wash make sure everything is flat, a very wet woolen jumper on a hanger will end-up as long as a dress.

Smedley mill recommended use the hand wash setting on the machine

Exactly.

Cinelli bikes are starting to really nark me. Is there anything good about these extremely normal frames with their slightly edgy paint jobs on the tiniest bit of a fork, or are they just fucking expensive

They're rad to the power of max.

I've had planetx stuff keep its shape quite well (4 years I think). Rapha gets washed the same way. Machine, non bio.

M&s seconds off of the eBay washed with everything else? Proper clumping and shrinking.

And to keep this on track. Fucking hell I dislike work.

People.
Not all people, just ones I interact with.
Especially ones on the telephone.

I know a helpline you can call about that. I’ll pm you their number.

Rapha / Howies merino: Machine wash on label, no problems.

Banana Republic merino: Handwash on label and definitely not going to risk it.

Jaeger silk top: Handwash on label, survives Ariel on 40. [but don't risk this on your best silk!!!!!!]

Instinctively, I'd say anything woolen that is "fluffy" looking with handwash and anything silk with unusual finishes that says handwash is DEFINITELY not machine safe.

Woolite Dark is the best, no enzymes and no whiteners.

I generally wash most lambswool or merino on a cool wash with the specific wool setting using this:

Cashmere I handwash using the same product. Thick ribbed or unusually-stitched wool jumpers are most prone to shrinking if you don't reshape them before putting them on the rack I find and cashmere will stretch out if you're not careful. If you're concerned your jumper is too wet coming out of the machine or after handwashing take a clean towel, lay the jumper flat on it and roll the towel up (you can make it a fairly tight roll but do not wring it; keep it straight like you're making a roulade) then unroll it and the towel should have absorbed some of the excess.

I hate that stuff

^^good point on the towel trick, useful when touring.

People that stand at the top of stairs.

People that stand in doorways and chat.

lift chatters.

in fact people that do anything other than stare at their phones or feet in lifts.

is breathing allowed ?

so long as it's not through your mouth.

and down your neck.

I fart like a brass band in lifts.