This morning's commute and other commuting stories

relieved of his expensive watch.

Criminals have obviously seen those Watchfinder adverts.

Expensive watches moving very slowly, easy targets.

Certainly is

Bizarre interaction with a motorcyclist on Upper Thames Street this morning.

I don't bother with the bike lane for the 100m or so that I use that road, so usually any abuse I get from motorists is of the 'Get in the bike lane' sort.

I was eastbound, pretty much slap-bang the middle of the lane here (image below), clearly signalling right into the bike-only lane.

A motorcyclist passes on my left, and is clearly eager to get past. He says something I don't quite hear - which I assume is the usual type of abuse.

He comes to a stop at the red light (which is literally JUST there - rendering this whole issue pointless) and I shout from the bike lane to ask him what he said. Turns out he wanted me to be further to the right so he could more easily squeeze past - which is not a criticism you usually hear...

Did he really want me to be as far to the right as I could? Seems like a recipe for motorists squeezing past on my left with not enough room.

Think I'll keep occupying as much of the whole lane as I can until I've safely finished my manoeuvre, thanks mate.

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Alright cool thanks. Will give it a go before the clocks change and my commute gets dark

@hippy You might be ready/willing/able to argue about stuff but many of us are not. In fact I find if I adopt a mode of ‘I will inform this person of their error’ or ‘that twat needs a earful’ I generally get wound up, upset, shouty/trembly bottom lip and usually fail in saying or doing anything that really improves a situation. I don’t think (when a driver acts selfishly or aggressively) that I can do anything other than allow it to continue, and when I don’t, my heart rate and stress goes through the fucking roof.

Of course I do act instnctively and sometimes go a bit ballistic. But I’m trying to stop myself.

I have a problem whereby I become pleasant but very sarcastic, which gets me in more trouble than I would have been otherwise e.g.
'Does your Dad know you've borrowed his van?'
'Oh did I embarrass you in front of all of your mates?' (when one other person is sat in the car)
or in the case of the other day when I offered angry man's companion a towel to dry him off after copping a face full of water from the bottle that was launched at me.
etc...

I think you're right @Skülly - it's not worth it. Better to stay alive and well and get to wherever you're going sans aneurysm.

Hah yeah the sarcasm is another approach I’ve dabbled in, generally isn’t well received either.

'Does your Dad know you've borrowed his van?'

Damn that's gotta enrage the gammons pretty good. Will be using in the future haha.

I'm not advocating it! Christ!

Yeah, I'm too ragey. I probably calmly address the issue 50% of the time or just ignore it and shake my head and the other 50% I'm looking for a fight. It's dumb, I know it's dumb and I try and get better but it's fucking wired in pretty deep. Definitely my father's son.

Skully is being too modest. It has not been an easy, or short, or prison-free journey that he has made towards his bliss.
Now, I'm not saying that experimental drug and electroshock and trepanning therapy played no part in his transformation, they surely did, and the scars are still visible when he takes off his top hat, but mostly it was will power and the love of our Lord Jesus Christy that saw him through.
To go from being someone once charged with using a novelty sex egg as an offensive weapon to someone vicars turn to for advice is a story that deserves to be told. But with the film rights already sold and rumours of Chris Evans making his acting debut as the eponymous hero, I am limited in what I can reveal.

Getting run over by an angry motorist for deigning to wave a hand at him will tend to cure anyone of the desire to confront.

Trust me.

Also for bad boys in beemers etc (especially those little abarth fiat 500s)
"Does your little sister know you've borrowed her car?"

Get's their tiny minds molten

Thing is, you'll never deliver an epiphany to any of these aunts with a pithy put-down. Chances are at best you'll set their sweating, gammony eyes swivelling around for another cyclist to take their self-esteem issues out on.
It's the least personally satisfying option to just smile politely and fuck off at the soonest opportunity but it's less likely to get you run over and actually more likely to make them feel like a prick afterwards.

(this is all under the assumption that you don't have a d-lock to hand, by the way)

I've been doing this angry mofo routine for >20 years. In most cases being hit has just made me want a more severe revenge.

A sarcastic wave is about the only alternative I've managed with any modicum of success.

I do remember once starting an argument most of the way through a 12hr training ride and just running on fumes and they've must've felt pity or something because they stopped but instead of carrying on trying to justify their stupid driving they just looked at me and left.

Carry on then.

Meh, I got flashed going 79 (in a 70) on the A3 and I probably ride 50-100 miles most weeks. Most crappy driving I encounter when riding in London would be crappy at any speed.

This didn’t get enough appreciation, #rep

^this

That's precisely what I'm trying to avoid.

OMG that's me with the Rapha bag on the right of the pic - giving them a wide berth!

Was about to do the same thing!

it wasn’t that easy to see the little one approaching the lights

Scooter mugger in Kentish Town today, on the high street, fucker was scouting out people and waiting between parked cars. I tried to warn people but what can you do.