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mespilus
Regarding kids in trolleys, Donald Trump has the answer...."you want to go in the trolley little Timmy?" Pay pound, take trolley outside store, flip it upside down, stuff Timmy into cage, hey presto, Mexican detainment unit. Continue shopping in peace and upon your return said perp will have expended a few litres of snot and tears, that was otherwise going to be spread liberally around your car interior. Return trolley, and collect £, best £ spent ever.
My moan, cars warning beeps for everything that can't be turned off. Your reversing, beep, windows open, beep, and so on, boot open, seat belts, bonnet open. I'm wondering what sort of full on deep techno track I can create by setting them all off at once, and how big an accident it would cause.
You don't need to tell me the door is open, I'm the only one here you stupid fucking thing, I opened it. Last week I quickly swung by the supermarket, battling past the Mad Max style snotty caged kids outside the entrance, I did my shop and came out with 2 bags worth. I was not going far so just puts the bags on the passenger seat and drove off. Ping, ping, ping,this Ai fucking car thinks my shopping is a human and wants me to put a seat belt round it, its doing its nut beeping at me constantly and flashing the seat belt light on the dash. oh do fuck off. I turn the stereo up and drive the 2 miles home ignoring the fuck out it, like I am somehow teaching it a lesson, knowing full well its going to pull the exact same shit next time, wanker.
I am now going to have conduct a study with bags of potatoes and other shopping to calculate the exact weight of shopping and other goods I can put on the passenger seat without the fucking alarms going off. This is not safe and labour saving, it is pissing me off. If Basil Fawlty had a modern car he'd have fucking set it on fire within 5 mins of getting in it.