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"While you were posting on Instagram, I was studying rolling resistance and aerodynamics. I will leave you humbled, bloodied and utterly crushed. Do not seek my advice, bear witness to my suplesse."
I'm stealing this ^. Especially "bear witness to my suplesse"; actually I want that shit on a sticker!
Certified banger. Would bang/10.
I like the mismatched tyre, it says: "While you were posting on Instagram, I was studying rolling resistance and aerodynamics. I will leave you humbled, bloodied and utterly crushed. Do not seek my advice, bear witness to my suplesse."