• One day aged 16 I got home from school and was ordered by mum to mercy kill the pigeon that had been shot and landed in our garden. Gave it a good whack with a shovel and it made the most intense eye contact with me for a second and slumped over.

    Dad gets home and asks why there's a half-dead pigeon down the garden. Turns out I'd just beaten the poor sod over the head and not killed it. He wrung its neck to finish it off and ended up ripping it's head off.

  • At about 12/13, a friend and I found a small bird (not sure what it was) that had clearly flown into a window and broke its neck. It was flopping all over the place, it could fly way and couldn't hold its head up. I suggested dropping a breeze block on it but my friend refused. Being an impressionable sod at that age, I agreed to drowning it in a bucket of water. Of course, him being a cunt, he made me do it. That was harrowing.

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