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A friend of mine used to live in Chelmer Village, a really horrible development (a full card in bad development bingo) which I wouldn't recommend. I remember all the traffic issues you would expect (bypass, lots of severance, a surprising amount of congestion at busy times). However, there are some lovely bits and as others have said, great countryside. We took some amazing walks in the summer.
As for commuting--this won't be for all days, but I always cycled out there and sometimes cycled back, which at about 35 miles each way (I think) is probably doable as a commute once a week. The A414 is good for a bit of time-trialling practice, but it can get very busy and if that's not your thing, there are great routes available to the south and north of it (but mainly to the south, e.g. via Margaretting, Edney Common, Blackmore, Hook End, Navestock, etc.--north of it means a much longer route, but I really like it up there). Obviously, because of peak time travel restrictions, you'd either have to do there and back in a single day or leave your bike at the office and do the ride back on another day.
Soooo...... anyone know anything about Chelmsford?
Except that it is in Essex and 30 minutes to Liverpool st. Logistical issues of a separation and the ex heading to Suffolk it looks like a good halfway point