This morning's commute and other commuting stories

HONK! HONK! YUR NOT A CAR! YUR ON A BICYCLE! HONK HONK! YUR CUNT! From behind as I matched the pace of the car in front whilst in primary causing no bother to anyone along Akerman and Patmos. 20 mph limit. We were just edging over it about 22/23mph. I looked at my legs to see if four wheels were in their place. I looked at my bum for an exhaust pipe. I looked down and saw a bicycle underneath me. Thank you for the observation angry lady and have a lovely Friday.

Think he deleted it or made it private after the last time we did that.

Yea that's my commute, there are two guys that ride FFWD's on Walworth/E&C that I regularly see.

One is around 35 maybe? Red /white decals, and is the nicest bloke ever, actually saw him this morning helping someone out with a puncture.

The other one is a bit older and is very macho-roadie-gears-bike things. We always end up racing because he doesn't like to be overtaken by a fixie skidder. Never had any dramas with him though.

I turn around, read their plates out aloud, and then proceed to slow down until they shut the fuck up. I've had a few people offer to kill me but once you've got their plates none of them do shit. Fucking chickens.

Gave a guy a rear light last night. It was funny, I said "your light's off" and he said it had been nicked. I said "but what's that?" pointing to what I couldn't tell was just a red rubber case with no internals.
"Do you want one? I have a cheapshit one I bought on Sunday from a servo just to get me home" and pointed for him to pull over to give him my spare. Turns out his nicked one was exactly the same as the £1 Object one I'd bought in the Chilterns after my lights had fucked out. #karma

Bus driver decided to overtake while I was kind of in between primary and secondary, but then decided actually he needed to stop at the bus stop so started to squeeze me to the kerb. Held my ground by hammering on the side of the bus and matching his slowing speed until he had to stop in the middle of the road. Then we just sat there blocking traffic while he hooted the horn. What a fucking winner he was.

Such a fuckng blended thing to do, that. Full marks for holding your line and stopping. I think you won that time.

I saw the strangest thing on my commute this morning. A great yellow ball, hanging in the sky, that filled me with warmth when I was in its presence. Was it God?

Someone probably just pissed in the pool you were in.
That's the only yellow, warmth giving object I've seen in this country.

Saw 2 cars heading the wrong way up High Holborn this morning. That section between Southampton Row and Drake Street. Clearly they were in convoy, the man in the leading car looked determined, the woman following looked resigned.

I didn't say anything to them as I really couldn't think of what to say, it was clear they knew what they were doing but would have like to know why they thought it was an acceptable/sensible thing to do.

When I looked back they were half on/half off the pavement squeezing round the bus coming the other way.

Hang on, I don’t get it. If you’d maintained speed, wouldn’t he have been able to tuck in behind you or did I misunderstand the situation?

You don't often see people getting major one-way systems wrong.

No because then I would have ridden into the side of the bus.

I matched his speed rather than jamming on the brakes because he was quite clearly expecting me to slow down to not get crushed, and then go round his stopped bus. I don't appreciate people using the size of their vehicle as an intimidation method or mechanism to ensure everyone moves out of their way.

You don't often see people getting major one-way systems wrong.

Bar the planners of major one-way systems, amiright?

I don't appreciate people using the size of their vehicle as an intimidation method

Soz but muma said I got it, so I gotta flaunt it.

waheeeeeyyy!

Had an old woman say something to me because I was stopping at a red light.....I was confused, second time in a week this has happened, you can see I'm coming to stop, why tell me there's a red light and I should be stopping?
I had at least 5ft left till the line on both occasions.
First one, I ended up just through the light as I was confused as to what I was being chastised for.

Were you riding fixed? People don't seem to understand you're actually in the process of stopping when the pedals are still moving if they're not used to it.

See also: Other cyclists riding in to the back of you as they don't realise you're slowing to a stop.

I'm a nob.

Filtering too fast on the inside of stationary traffic today, down a steep hill. Then a driver coming the other way turns across the cycle lane to get to a petrol station.

He was moving cautiously (as he couldn't easily see) and so hydro brakes and a lot of luck saved me from smashing into him at speed.

That's not why I'm a nob.

It's the fact that exactly the same thing happened again 5 minutes later, further down the hill. Must start to learn from my own bloody mistakes.

Strictly speaking your not filtering if your in a cycle lane. I got taken out in the same way about 4 years ago. I put a big dent in the door of a new BMW and his insurance paid for my new bike.

RIP my milwaukee bruser

That kind of depends on whether you assume that they're evil or not. If the former, they're probably getting them exactly right for their purposes. :)

Yeah, sounds like the chap. In fairness he is fast but wide berth advised!

Quite chilly at -4.

Forgot overshoes/10.

Two guys in shorts and yes -4

one of the worst headwinds in last year or two. couldn't maintain 15mph even on the flats (tbf pushing 120kg plus bike plus parachute like messenger bag filled with clothes, laptop, tools, misc doesn't help).

sitting here shitting myself as snow continues to settle and I need to get home still.