• Not my best but the other night:

    "Why are you so angry"
    "Duh! Because you drove you fucking car into me!"

    Unlike most other drivers this one didn't complain about my language, which I always find amusing, like I'm supposed to put up an R-rating for foul language after they've driven into me. Then again, maybe I just didn't hear her because I'd drowned out everything she was saying with "look where you're going you stupid fucking cunt" until she backed down.

  • On a club run recently I asked someone “do you always drive like a cunt”

    “Are you calling me a cunt?”

    “No just asking if you drive like one”

    Cue explosion of utter rage

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